selling and telling (Carl Gallagher fanfic)

Missing someone

After a few weeks I tried to change myself. Dyed my hair a little darker. Tried to smile more. Saved more money up. I slowed down my drinking. I stopped my medication still. I tried to approve my attitude and temper.  I am sitting in Carls room laying with Xan. Lips ex fling left her behind. She clings to me good. 

She was sleeping peacefully. Lip was on the computer on the other bed. I was scrolling on my phone. "I texted her" Lip spoke. I looked up and raised a brow. "What did she say?" I asked. "Nothing yet". How could you just leave someone like this? I would never understand. 

Today was Brads weeding. I have been hanging out with Lip since Carl has been gone. Xan woke up. "Hey are you hungry?" Lip jumped the gun. "She just woke up Lip let her stretch first!" I laughed. I had this old sparkly dress I could no longer wear I was going to let her have. 

 Xan loved to take pictures on my phone. It was cute. "Okay Tessa we need to go now you are going to make us late!" Lip instructed. "Just one more picture!" Xan cried. "Come get in it Lip!" I told him. "No-" "Come on!" He walked over and smiled. "Awe it is so cute!" I told them. "Okay bye see you guys later!" "Bye love ya" "Love ya!" 

I heard Franny cry. I walked to Debbie's room and got her. "Good morning pretty girl!" I told her. Debbie asked me to watch her for her. I told her I would. I was off today. I changed her and feed her. She is such a cutie. "Essa!" She cheered. "Franny!" I told her. 

Fiona came over for dinner that night. Debbie was being charged more for peeing more? Weird right. Fiona looked beautiful as always. I was cleaning up with Lip while Xan was in the shower. "Dinner was good" I told him. "Thanks I tried my best" "Well you are a good cook" I was washing dishes. 

Liam was sorting out franks stolen items from his friends house. "Hey Liam did you do your homework?" I asked him. "Yes I did" "Okay do you have clean clothes for school?" I asked him. "Yes" "Then you just need to shower?" "Yes" "Good!"

"You know you would make a good mom" Lip spoke. I cut my eyes to him. "Or a interrogator!" Liam added and I laughed. "I like kids but I do not think I would want my own" "Why not?" Lip asked. I shock my head. "I don't know it's just a big responsibility I mean once you are like 3 months in you have to watch what you eat and drink and no smoking and then when you push it out you have to teach it everything and raise it and try not to fail it and-" "I get the point Tessa" Lip smiled. 

I washed the dishes and Xan came down. "Are you ready for bed?" I asked her. "Yeah I am" Perfect lets go!" I told her. We walked upstairs and I sat on the end of the bed. She laid down and I just sat there like always. 

"Do you like Lip?" She spoke out the blue. I gasped. "Oh no he is just a good friend!" I told her. she giggled. "Have you ever had  a boyfriend?" She asked me. I chuckled "Yeah a couple" "Why did they not work out?" She questioned. I shrugged. "Well my first one I was like 10 and he tried to kiss me with his mouth open and it tasted like cheese and I did it and threw up right after. Then I dated another dude after him and he was so boring. Then I dated this other dude who tried to do terrible things to me" I explained. 

"Thats horrible" "I know!" "So you never had a good guy?" Carl. "Yeah. I had a good guy. Me and my best friend dated on and off for years. Every time we got back together it was amazing. It was indescribable. Then in the end something always happened." "Why?" "I do not know. Maybe it is fate saying we should not be together or maybe we both just made mistakes." She smiled. 

"It sucks because he broke my heart in a way." "You speak highly of him" I looked at her. I had a realization. "I think because parts of me still love him. I still crave him in a weird, sad way. Enough of me you need to go to sleep for school" I smiled at her. "Goodnight" "Goodnight Xan"