selling and telling (Carl Gallagher fanfic)

Another day same ole bullshit

Just when things were getting better they got worse. Mom died two days after our talk. Her boyfriend and their kids left the house for good. We are planning some shared custody for Hunter. The funeral was good. Hazel is really tore up about it. She does not even want to come over because she cannot take the pain. I forgot how much she has grown and how she is finally understanding things. 

As of me I have not gotten out of bed in a couple days. Besides going to use the bathroom. I have today though. I used all my vacation time. I got in the shower and let the water run over me. It felt nice. I got dressed and walked downstairs. 

"Hey pretty girl are you hungry?" Sage questioned me. "No" "You have not ate in days Tessa" "I will eat at work" I mumbled. I felt so tired. I just wanted to sleep forever. "Tess you look sick do you want me to take you to the hospital?" "No" I grabbed my keys. 

"You can hardly keep your eyes open you are not driving!" "Sage I am fine!" "I am driving you" "What about -" Colden can watch Nessa no worries" I was not in the mood to fight. She drove me. 

Work was alright. Nothing to great about it. I clock in and clocked out. "Ma'am?" this woman called. I looked up to her. "Can I have a refill please?" She was so sweet and older. I was clocked out but I could not tell her no, I had to wait on Sage anyways.  "Yes!" I smiled and grabbed the pot. 

"You look like you have no slept in ages!" She laughed. I grinned. "I just had a lot going on recently" "I understand darling, do you want to share the cause?" I looked down. "My mom passed away the other day. We were close when I was younger.. Then I did something bad and I think that is what ruined our relationship forever" She frowned. 

"I do not know what you did but whatever it is will not make a mother not like her daughter!" "Well then you never met my mother" She chuckled. "I know she loves you! Every mother loves their kids its just other things happen that take their time. Here take this and get some rest. You seem like a sweet girl. I wish you nothing but the best!" She handed me a 100$ bill. 

"I can not take this!" She placed it into my hand. "Well you will." She got up and walked out. I was stunned. I walked out to find her but I could not find her. "Weird" I mumbled. The bill was real. 

"I am here!" Sage called as she looked at me. She took me home and I showered and rested for a bit. I woke up to my phone buzzing. Carl's name was on my screen. I hit the power button. He called again. 

"Yes?" I asked. "Meet me at the bus stop I do not have much time!" I sighed. "I am not doing this with you Carl what do you want that must be so important for me to meet you at the bus stop?" I was annoyed. He went quite on the other line. "I am leaving" "On my way" I hung up and put on a tee shirt over my bra. 

I ran down the stairs. "Whoa where are you going?" Hazel asked. "Carl is leaving!" I spoke as I slide my Nikes on. "Be careful!" Colden yelled. "Yup!" I cranked my car up and sped away. I got to the stop and seen him standing with his bags and uniform on. I parked my car in the road and walked over to him. 

I stood in front of him. He looked sad. "I am proud of you man!" I pushed his shoulder and he stumbled. He smirked. "If you tell me to stay then I will stay for you" I gasped. He would stay for me? "No Carl you are not going to stay behind just for me.. Do you want to throw your future away for just some girl?" I questioned. 

"But you are not "Just some girl" Tessa, You are everything to me" I laughed. "You are a good actor Carl! You are getting on that bus even if I have to push you in it!" He had a tear fall down. "Why are you crying?" I was concerned. Why is he crying isn't this supposed to be a good thing? 

"I fucked up everything!" "Carl what are you talking about?" "You Tessa, You! I fucked you up! I am the reason you do not want to be with me! I am the reason you have all these no sleep nights, and I am the reason you can never love properly!" I was taken back. Is he the reason because he makes it sound believable. 

"Carl no! I still believe in love. I just do not think it is for me! No sleeping is just me that's how I am ! Carl I love you in a friends way! Do not blame yourself for things you did not break!" It's just he did break me. He broke me into a million pieces but if I lie it will make it seem like he never did right?

The bus was pulling up. "I am going to fix things! I am going to do this for you Tessa!" "No!" I shouted. "Do not do this for me! If you do not do this for yourself then do not go! Carl go and live your dreams, but know while you are gone I am going to live mine. Know I will be fine alright? You go for you." I explained. 

"Are things going to be different when I get back?" He asked. I nodded my head. "Yes Carl.. They will. I will always be here for you Carl but I can not always wait for you. I love you I really do.. but I also love my sanity. Now go!" He wiped the tear off his face. 

He grabbed my face and placed a genital kiss on my forehead. I looked up at him. I kissed his lips one more time. His lips were soft. I took his hands in both of mine. "I love you" I let them go and they flopped to his sides. I stepped back and he walked on the bus. I watched as he sat on the seat. He looked at me from the window. 

I nodded and smiled at him. He smiled before looking forward and putting his headphones in. It started moving. "Carl!" Kassidi yelled. She ran a little behind them. She was panting down the road. "He is gone Kass." I spoke as I walked beside her. "Why did he have to leave me?" She sobbed. I felt her pain for once. Why did he have to leave me? I been there. 

"For once Kassidi.. I agree with you." I looked at her. She looked at me. "I never really liked you but I think everyone needs a chance. Go live your life Kass, Live your crazy fun life! I wish you the best!" I walked to my car. "Hey Tessa?" I heard her call. "Yeah?" "He loves you more than he could ever love me. I am sorry for everything I said bad about you. I think you are pretty cool" Was she being nice to me? Thats a first. "Thank you Kassidi." I smiled and got into my car. 

Just like that. Carl was gone again. But was it a surprise? He always leave at some point. I hope he changes to be better. 

Season 9 here we come!