The Life Series Oneshots

{Incorrect Quotes!}

So, this is my first time writing incorrect quotes, and I used an incorrect quotes prompt generator.

Link to the prompt generator: https://perchance.org/incorrect-quote-generator

Hope you enjoy!

[----------]

Grian: Is something burning?
Scar, leaning seductively on the counter: Just my desire for you.
Grian: Scar, the toaster is literally on fire.

[----------]

Cleo: I wanna sleep for 40 hours.
Etho: You know that's called a coma, right?
Cleo:
Cleo: That sounds so refreshing, I could totally go for a light coma right now.

[----------]

Martyn: My favorite thing about big dogs is that when you push them over, they're all like "Oh, I'm lying down now! Someone might scratch my stomach! I might nap! Endless possibilities!"
Ren: ...whereas, when you push little dogs over, they're all like, "Vengeance! Death before dishonor!"

[----------]

Bdubs: Okay. Hypothetically speaking, how mad would you be if I burned a hot pocket so badly it could probably fall off a ten-story building and be completely fine?
Etho: Bdubs, what did you do?
Bdubs: Take a guess.

[----------]

Joel: What would Grian think?
Jimmy: Ok, that's an interesting thought, but hear me out: what if... we ran an experiment where we spent the rest of our lives finding out what happened if we never told them?

[----------]

Watchers: I think it's time to start fucking some shit up.
Grian: Oh no.
Watchers: More like "oh yes!"

[----------]

Lizzie: Damn, the power went out.
Joel: Don't worry, I got this.
Joel: *stomps foot*
Lizzie: What-?
Joel: *Sketchers light up*

[----------]

Scott: When I see initials carved into a tree with a heart I think it's so romantic. Two lovers on a date... one of them carrying a knife for some reason.

[----------]

*Joel comes home absolutely drunk, undresses, and stands in Etho's bedroom.*
Etho: Babe, are you.. coming to bed?
Joel: No thank you, I'm sure you're lovely but I have a girlfriend.
Joel: *Lies on the ground and falls asleep*
Etho: ...

[----------]

Impulse, trying to flirt: So, you come around here often?
Bdubs, confused: I mean, this is my house, so yeah.

[----------]

Ren: I am so cool. I am an absolute Chad. I am the epitome of coolness and awesomeness—
Big B: Hi.
Ren: *melts down in a flustered heap of softness*

[----------]

Grian: I still have no idea how I'm attracted to you...
Scar: Yeah, well, you're stuck with me, and no take backs, honey.

[----------]

Scott, ordering Starbucks: Hey, I just got my heart broken, what do you recommend?
Martyn, who's running the drive thru: ...
Martyn: Tequila.

[----------]

Pearl: I wasn't that drunk.
Cleo: You colored my face with a highlighter because you said I was important.
Pearl: BECAUSE YOU ARE!

[----------]

Lizzie: What's it like being tall?
Gem: Is it nice?
Cleo: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards?
Pearl: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb four chairs, two boxes, a small coffee table, and six oddly placed stools to get what they want.

[----------]

Skizz: Hey, are you okay?
Tango: Yeah.
Skizz: You don't look okay...
Tango: Then stop looking.

[----------]

Bdubs: Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night?
Etho: It was autocorrect.
Bdubs: Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me."?
Etho: Yes.

[----------]

Grian: When I get murdered, can you make sure I become an unsolved case?
Mumbo: wHat?
Grian: I want to be on Buzzfeed Unsolved.
Mumbo: Can we go back to the part when you said "when I get murdered"?

[----------]

Joel: Tommorrow's garbage day.
Scar: I can't believe they made a whole day dedicated to you.