The Life Series Oneshots

{Incorrect Quotes 3!}

Grian: It's not like I try to blow things up, exactly. It just sort of happens. You've got to admit though, fire is fascinating.

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Gem, holding an antique bottle: Is this whiskey or perfume?
Etho: *grabs and chugs the entire bottle*
Etho:
Etho: It's perfume.

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Joel: Scar... Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor?
Scar: Your text told me to satanize the house before you returned.
Joel:
Joel: I wrote sanitize, Scar.

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Impulse: Show me Pennsylvania.
Bdubs: I don't know Canadian geography.

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Scott: The odds of this happening by coincidence are vanishingly small.
Gem: I would say infinitesimally.
Impulse: And I'd say teenily-weenily. We all know words.

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Martyn: Damn, the power went out.
Pearl: Don't worry, I got this.
Pearl: *shakes rapidly and starts to light up*
Martyn: What-?
Pearl: I swallowed a glow stick!
Martyn, on the verge of tears: WHY WOULD YOU-

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Scott: Martyn! This soup is flaccid!
Martyn: LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK DOES THIS MEAN?!

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Scott: And here we see Pearl and Cleo in their natural habitat. Texting eachother variations of the word "garlic bread" to try to make eachother laugh.
Pearl: Gaelic bread.
Cleo: Grueling brad.
Pearl: Ha ha, glamorous beans.

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Impulse: Sometimes I drink milk straight from the container.
Jimmy: The cow??
Impulse: What?
Mumbo: Jimmy, W H Y?

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Lizzie: Be kind. Everyone is fighting their own battles.
Joel: Why would I be kind? I will be brutal and relentless and ride into battle by their side!

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Pearl: What are your three best qualities?
Scar: I'm hot, I have soft hair, and sometimes I cry because I love my friends.

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Big B: I think I just figured something out. I got to go.
Ren: Aren't you forgetting something?
Big B: Uuh...*hesitantly kisses Ren's forehead before running out.*
Ren: No, pay your bill! Damn, who raised you?

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Etho: What can therapy do for me that screaming in my car for 30 minutes can't?

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Scar: "I lost a bet."
Scar: The second-most ominous phrase in existence.
Bdubs: What's the first?
Scar: "Let's make a bet."

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Lizzie: Hey, what's the name of the guy who lives down the hall?
Gem: His cats' names are Walter and Rose.
Lizzie: That's not what I asked.
Gem: That is all the information I have.