𝐓𝐞𝐞𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐅𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 (ʙᴀᴋᴜɢᴏᴜ x ᴏᴄ)

Chapter 26

"𝕋𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕥 𝕗𝕖𝕖𝕝𝕤 𝕝𝕚𝕜𝕖..."
‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　"𝕋𝕖𝕖𝕟𝕒𝕘𝕖 𝔽𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣."　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

I've never had any interest in academics. I'm not even one of those people who have a favourite subject, I'm just medium shit at all of them.

I sometimes wish that I was one of those artsy creative girls, the ones who appreciate poetry and have a talent for painting. But I don't even understand poetry, most of it's written in an old language... so how the fuck am I supposed to read it? Not to mention that I've never been able to decipher a metaphor.

Or I wish to be one of those academically inclined girls, they understand maths and science because they study, they have a hunger for learning, a beautiful intrigue with their own future and wanting to make it as fruitful as possible. 

I'm not any of those things, never once have I woke up and walked to the school building with the thought that it's a place to learn in my head.

I usually walk to school with the sole idea that it's a place where I get to stare dreamily at Katsuki or gossip with the others.

But today, especially today, I am wilfully determined to force myself into that belief. I'm not creative, I can barely read a word that has more than six letters in it, I'll never get maths, nor does science make a lick of sense. Though, today, I have no choice but to discover which of them I hate the least.

Last night, I kept myself up with thoughts of Katsuki Bakugou, more specifically, Katsuki Bakugou's thoughts of me. I dug myself into a pit of truthfully believing that I am the worst, ugliest, most disgusting girl he's ever had the displeasure of being in a room with. It makes no sense, I know it doesn't, but he just left!

He walked out on me the second he got an inch of what he was after this whole time. And once he got that small sliver, he realised that even that was too gross, and he'd never be able to kid himself into taking it the whole way. I was stupid to let myself muddle into the thought that feelings might actually be fuelling his actions.

Then three AM hit and... I got one of those flurries of sudden motivation. Don't get me wrong, I'm entirely depressed at this point, I hate everything, myself more than any other. But I had a sudden urge to not let this be what I spend my whole life feeling like.

Katsuki doesn't like me, and that's fine. I'm convincing myself that it's fine because... school is about learning, not feelings. My feelings shouldn't matter right now because I'm sat in Geography Class. And I'm listening like I'm supposed to be.

Yeah, I'm learning.

Katsuki doesn't matter. I'm determined to ignore all of him. He's sitting right over there, one row to my left, a couple seats down. I see the back of his head, his hair's all spiked up like usual, his uniform's ragged just like it always is. And I'm here to learn, in school. There's not a single thing about Katsuki that could distract me from focusing on the whole reason I'm here. To learn.

I'm not even thinking about yesterday when he kissed me, finally giving me the one thing I've yearned for for over a year, then I got panicked like a little bitch and he up and left me to cry like a pussy. I'm here to learn—