Tanner and Esme

Commercial Break From Somewhere in Australia (Mindy): Working With The Pigs

I was alive. But my life was not what I deserved or expected. I expected to be living a life of luxury with Tanner, but that bitch he was married to ruined things, despite the excellent blow job I'd given him. Then my luck got even worse when the MC I borrowed twenty thousand from got all upset over an amount they'd never even miss.

When the Romano brothers, Rome and Dom, had talked to me about the loan they'd unknowingly made to me -- I would have been able to pay it back if Tanner had cooperated -- they'd pulled me into a scary, windowless room and discussed my fate right in front of me until I was crying and begging them to let me live. I even offered them blow jobs for a year if they'd let me go. That's when Rome started talking about a job on a pig farm, and I had no fucking idea what that meant but it didn't sound like a job I wanted to do. Pigs are disgusting and there was no way I was spending time around them.

Dom had said maybe I should learn what real pigs were, and Rome had grinned at him.

"Agreed, brother. I'll consider that fair recompense for the money she stole."

"You sure you wouldn't rather just kill her?" Dom had asked, brandishing the biggest knife I'd ever seen.

"No, please!" I'd screamed through my tears. 

"So, just to clarify, you prefer living in Australia the rest of your life to feeding the pigs?" Dom asked.

"Yes, yes, yes!" I cried. Looking back, maybe I should have taken the farm job.

They'd flown me on a private jet to Australia and one of the Dragon's Inferno brothers accompanied me and told me to never set foot in the States again if I wanted to live. I had ten dollars in my pocket, my ID, a passport I wasn't entirely sure was legal, a new phone with one number on it that Rome had given to me, and the clothes on my back. Dom had said that I could figure out how to make my own way in Australia or call the number on the phone for a job opportunity.

I'd thought it'd been a nice gesture, but those fucking Romano brothers were assholes. As soon as I'd finally cleared customs -- and let me tell you, they want to know why you're coming into Australia without any luggage -- I called that number on my phone.

A man with an Australian accent answered. "The fuck you want?"

I explained who I was, who had given me his number and asked if he had any job openings.

That resulted in a lot of laughter from the man.

"You could say that. Wait at the airport for someone to pick you up. Keep your phone on. It'll be a while."

Four hours later, I met Shithead, one of the brothers in the Satan's Scum MC, based in the Middle of Fucking Nowhere. He was the most disgusting man I'd ever seen, dirty and greasy and he smelled awful. He told me to get on the back of his bike and we drove for hours through desolate, barren landscape until we came to a clubhouse that wasn't even protected by a gate.

"So far out here, no one would bother," Shithead explained.

Then I was introduced to the rest of Satan's Scum MC. They were nothing like the Dragon's Inferno. Just like the SSMC brothers, the club house was vile, dirty and rank, and it smelled like something had died. My shoes stuck to the floor, and there were several people having sex on the various nasty-looking couches throughout the common room.

A man with the Prez patch sat on the couch and some topless woman was in the process of sucking him off. 

"You're looking for a job," he said to me.

"Yes?"

"Heard the Romano brothers sent you here."

At that, the woman lifted her head and looked at me, as if she knew the Romano brothers. She looked like she was in her late forties and had led a rough life. I'd later find out she was a lot younger than I'd thought and the Romano brothers had sent her to Australia with no viable options. She'd just happened to meet one of the Satan's Scum brothers after landing at the airport and had decided that working for the MC was better than the other options available to her.

"Back to it, Cumille," Prez snapped at her, and she got back to it. "Got an opening for a cook and housekeeper because Cumille here just accepted a promotion. Play your cards right and do the job well, you can eventually move up to club girl, too, if you want. Or you can remain as cook and housekeeper. It's up to you. We may be Satan's Scum, but we don't force women to do anything they don't want."

And that, I was to learn, was the only good thing about the Satan's Scum. Everything else about them was horrible. I mean, how bad was cooking and cleaning here if being a club girl was a promotion?

As the years rolled by, I always thought I should have accepted Rome's offer of working with the pigs because even they couldn't have been as disgusting as the Satan's Scum. 

But I guess you could get used to anything because eventually, I took the promotion. After all, I had skills that were wasted as a cook.