Tanner and Esme

Chapter 7 (Tanner): A Partial Answer

"Are we going to sleep together, Tanner? Or are we sleeping separately? I'm not sure what we're doing here, exactly, or what this marriage is supposed to be."

Esme stood in the middle of the condo my parents had bought for me so I could live off campus and not pay jacked-up prices for a tiny, run-down apartment.

"What do you want to do, Ez? We can just sleep in the same bed, in case you need me. It doesn't have to go beyond that if you don't want." What surprised me was that I was hoping it would go beyond sleeping.

After she'd collapsed at my feet when she met my parents, we'd taken Esme to the emergency room, where they'd given her some IV fluids and prescribed some anti-nausea drugs that were safe for pregnant women.

My mother had taken me aside and expressed her concern about Esme's choice to live in her dorm room until the end of the semester.

"What she has is no joke, Tanner. She needs someone to watch her. What if she collapsed in her dorm room and she was alone? If she moved in with you, you could watch over her, see if she's eating, if the pills are helping, if she needs to see the doctor again."

Since I'd already been concerned about the same thing but hadn't wanted to push Esme in case it stressed her out, I'd talked with her and laid out my concerns. She'd reluctantly agreed. Now, just days later, I'd moved Ez out of her dorm room, and my wife was officially moved in with me.My wife. I was living with my wife. That took some getting used to, seeing Esme in my condo instead of Mindy. I pushed that thought aside, and focused on coming to terms with my new life.

"I guess we can try sleeping in the same bed," she said. "But if you don't want to, I get it. Just...be honest with me, and I'll take the guest room."

There was that look in her eyes again, the alone and young and lost look that never failed to h!t me in the gut. I was the only family she had, and she was completely vulnerable right now between the baby and her illness.

I hugged her. "We'll figure it out as we go, Ez. We don't have to have all the answers today."

"But definitely by tomorrow?" she teased me, her voice muffled against my chest.

I laughed, maybe my first laugh since Ez had shown up and told me she was pregnant. "Yeah, we'll definitely have everything sorted by tomorrow."

Pulling up to my brother's place, I leaned back in my seat for a minute, thinking about this next mess I needed to clean up. To find out Trent and Mindy had been in touch for the four years I'd been married was confusing to me -- not to mention enraging. What right did he have to tell Mindy all the shit I said to him? I thought I was telling my brother and only my brother the things that ran through my mind; I thought I could vent safely to him, and yet he was passing everything on to Mindy.

You shouldn't have been telling him anything, my motherfucking conscience couldn't resist poking at me. Yeah, well, where the hell were you when I needed you?

I was beginning to drag, and I wondered how Esme was doing. She hadn't gotten much sleep the previous night, and I knew she was already tired to begin with because of the baby. I needed to talk with her, talk her into letting me salvage this situation.

Knocking on my brother's door, I almost hoped he wasn't here so I could go home, sleep and deal with him tomorrow. Proving life hated me, he answered the door, looking irritated.

"What's going on?"

I walked past him. "I just came from seeing Mindy."

"Knew it!"