"You are good, Sean," the gallery owner admired while staring at the picture he had drawn from the photo the client had left. "Take what's in the picture. There's almost no difference."
Zhan enjoyed looking at the canvas. "You really think so, Lulu?"
"You've been here at the gallery for almost two months now. No client has complained that you didn't copy their photos properly. And our clients have increased because of the recommendations you made. I'm worried that you might later build your own gallery in this place. I'm going out of business," Lulu said good-naturedly.
Zhan let out a laugh. "That was my dream, Lulu," he said honestly. "But not now. That's why the commission you're giving me is fine with me." Lulu returned to the gallery's reception. "My son's classmate called. Asking if his painting is done. Just yesterday morning he brought his photo, didn't he?"
"It's okay, Lulu. It's done. Just a few finishing touches." He finished what he was doing and then put his little signature at the bottom of the picture. Thinking of something, he frowned and approached Lulu."Isn't the client going to have it framed?" he asked.
"I don't think so. He prefers just the clip on both ends. Scroll-style," Lulu answered and reached for the twelve-by-twelve canvas she had given him. "It's afternoon again, Sean. If you want to go home, go ahead."
Zhan smiled gratefully. Headed to the location of his bag. "Thanks, Lulu. I want to get to the hardware tomorrow. I'm going to paint my room."
"Hmp. Just have it done by a contractor. I know a painter, and his charges are cheap."
"No worries, I can do it. See you on, Monday."
"Have a nice weekend," Lulu said.
"Thanks." When he left the gallery, he passed by the hardware store and bought a gallon of white paint.
From the hardware, he went home to his cottage, it was small with two small rooms. The balcony is overlooking the coast. It stands on a piece of land near the beach owned by Ziyuan's parents.
All his life, he'd been there only twice. First, that very day before his mother left him with Zhuocheng. They stayed here for only one night. The second, seven years later, he was fourteen. When Ziyuan picked him up from Zhoucheng and brought him to Beijing. But they didn't stay here long. Ziyuan just spoke to an old lady and they left immediately.
He felt bad because he didn't want to go with his mother that day so he had no interest in asking her.
After all, this place is not from Zhoucheng. But he didn't think Zhuocheng ever knew this place. Even he had never thought of its place except the day he left Gusa Island. He didn't want to go back to New York and go back to work. It was out of desperation that this place suddenly came to his mind.
It was not easy to find this place based only on the landmarks remembered. But the place hadn't changed that much. A province is a province.
The cottage was old although well-maintained, and he met a seventy-year-old woman. The old woman his mother was talking to the last time they went here. He found out that she was a distant relative of Ziyuan and that she also took care of Ziyuan when her parents died when she was a teenager. Zhan was surprised to know that his mother had been sending money to the old woman.
"Your mother is grateful to me," said the old woman when they were talking that evening. "Your mother is beautiful and smart. She graduated because she was a scholar. And she has very high ambitions. She is determined to get out of poverty. She dreams of becoming a model. I told her not to reach for the sky." She raised the handkerchief and wiped her eyes. "I didn't even know she died."
Zhan swallowed the lump in his throat. He couldn't bring himself to say that his mother's dream had come true through him. He didn't want anyone to know him as Xiao Zhan. Even to this old lady, he is Sean. His full name is Sean Xiao Zhan. But his mother dropped his first name. Ziyuan said it was too common.
Before he went to this place, he had his hair cut too short. He almost passed out when the salon staff put down an old, imported magazine in front of him and said he looked like him on the cover "Is that so?" His fingers were trembling as he stared at himself then he laughed. "It's like you said I'm this handsome."
Life in the province was simple. Things he was not used to he learned to do. Like going to the market to buy food for him and the old woman. He is also used to the admiring glances following him when he walks. But he didn't fear anymore that people might recognize him as the supermodel.
He had just finished painting the picket fences that he had the carpenter install for the past three days. He painted all day. Last week he painted his bedroom and the living room.
Tired, he dropped himself on the coarse sand. He observed the coast. It was so ironic that he'd travelled around the world modelling but he hadn't been in this beautiful place.
He filled his lungs with the salty aroma of the sea and felt his stomach. Last week he went to see a doctor in town because he has been feeling worse for a month already. He doesn't want to wake up early. Even Lulu noticed that he kept going to the bathroom and felt nauseous. But his boss was too tactful to ask.
The old lady was staring at him with sympathy in her eyes although not asking. He was two months pregnant.
He wants to be depressed. He wanted to cry and cry. When out of passion... when out of a purposeless emotion he gave birth to a child, which was selfishness on his part. He didn't think about the consequences. Now he will include an innocent child in his miserable life.
Life is an irony. History repeating itself.
The difference between him and his mother is that it happened because he loved Yibo— which wasn't a justification for bringing a child into this world fatherless. Ziyuan used Fengmian for material things. But no matter what he said, he and his future child were both bastards. He hugged his knees, rested his head on them, and sobbed. For so many reasons. For missing Yibo so much he'd wake up in the middle of the night crying. For wanting to share with Yibo the joys of his pregnancy. For wanting to lean on Yibo's chest when he felt so bad.
For wanting Yibo to be there at the momentous moment when he would bring this child into the world.
He sobbed. Oh, Yibo, I love you so much.
"Sean, someone is looking for you," the old woman called from behind him.
He quickly wiped away the tears with his hands and then turned to the old woman. "If it's the carpenter, the balance payment is in the cabinet-" The next word hung in his throat when he saw who was next to the old lady. Zhan sucked in his breath.
