The baby brother of ASL

Chapter 33

From the last chapter

" stupid Jiji and his stupid stupid words," the white haired child mummbled turning his back away from the drooling and snoring tomato man, " there's no way any of that stupid promise is going to be true ... even my own parents left me to die.. who's gonna love someone like that as their own?"

Seeing the complete lack of trust for his words on the face of young grandson, Garp only sighed drawing the child closer towards him," Although I have no doubt that what I say will come true btu even if they are somehow and weridly aren't, Sebastian remember that even if the world turns its back on you are my lovely, adorable brave little grandson and the beloved younger brother of Fire Fist Ace, Blue Gentlemen Sabo and Strawhat Luffy"

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But so what if he was the grandson of the Hero of the marines, the 'beloved' baby brother of the 'Blue gentlemen' Sabo, Firefist Ace and Strawhat Luffy.
Who cared what ran through his veins?
Who cared what bonds he had sworn an oath to? 
When evey night those monsters came back? 

So what if people believe he was loved when there was no one with him when that spike of terror chocked him till he couldn't even scream every single god damned night? 

where was his grandfather when all he could do was claw at his chest till tears would stream down to his chest, pertified in fear?

When was anyone there to save him? 
where was all those people when the darkness seemingly flooded his head and tortured him without an end? 

So what if he was 'stronger' than the average kid when whenever he would close his eyes only terror filled him and fear struck his very soul abd the anxiety flooded him? 

Where was anybody anytime? 
Why did no one fight for him? 
Why was he ever so alone? 

So he lay there shaking like a leaf as fear slowly but surley took over him, the chilling dread spiked down his spine as he forced his trembling eyes shut. 

As he tried his best to ignore the chaos and whispers that had started to make themselves known once again in his head as they whipered horrid horrid things of just how useless, ugly, worthless he was. It seemed like everything was judging him, pointing his way, screaming at him, yelling at him to go kill himself, shoving him, spitting at him. It felt as if the whole world had turned its back entirely to the tiny young boy as he trembled and shook in panic. 

The tiny hands that gripped ever so deperatly at the shirt as if it was the only light, the only stream of hope he had, afraid that if he even loosened his grip his would be chucked into the abyss all by himself to fend and die for himself against the darkness that seemingly was trapped in his head.

" Save... me.." were the only words that left the pertified child as the monsters that had haunted him from the past clawed at his legs, gripping onto his ankles to drag him away. 

" save me"
the whispers in hs head turned into angry yellongs in his head, that echoed and multiplied endessly gripped his arms and his body dragging him down.. down and down. 

" SAVE ME" 
he screamed as everything becoome so blurry, fuzzy and ever so dark as hands blinded his vision and muffled his mouth at such a terrifying rate. 

He was so scared, so afraid, so fearful of what was to come, so alone, so islolated and ever so frightened. All he could hear were the angry yellings ringing in his mind , the chocking of his throat, the squeezing of his heart that seeemd like it would explode and his blood running cold as tears threatened to fall. 

" Don't leave me alone, Don't abandon me, save me, resuce me.." 

His grip on the shrit fell, too tired, exhausted and completly burned out at even the thought of the endless pain that ripple throughout his body every single time such an event happened and there he lay completly limp.

Would these voices leave him alone if he surrendered to the voices? 
Should he just give up? 
He had fought too hard. 
He had fought alone, scared and afraid. 
All the scars, the pain, the blood that he had attained while he had fought tooth and nail for survivial was getting to him... he should just give up... he could already feel his body growing cold.. fading away into the bliss of death. 

" oudy... loudy... CLOUDY!!!" 
who was calling him? 
Why was he calling him? 

" KID" 
there was no more strength left in his body as he shivered due to the chill running down his spine to even turn his head as he could feel his body grow rapidly cold by the second. 

" CLOUDY!! IT'S ME SHANKS, AKAGAMI NO SHANKS!!" 

Shanks? who was he? 
Why was he calling him? 
Why did he seem so deperate? 
Why did he care about him? 

" NO CLOUDY HANG IN THERE DON'T YOU DARE DIE ON ME" 

Did he even deserve to live? 
Wasn't he someone no one would mourn about anyways? 

 " CLOUDY!!!!" 

Why? 
Why was this man calling for him? 
Why was he calling for him at this time.. when he was ready to give up on everything? 
why was he soundind so desperate? 
Why did he care? 
Why did he even care for the weak? 
Even for an orphan who's own parents abandoned?

" CLOUDY IT'S ME, MR TOMATO MAN HANG IN THERE DON'T GIVE UP" 

Mr tomato man? 
why was shanks here? 
Why did he care? 
Even after all the things he did to the man? 

" Cloudy, you are preciouse, you are lovely, you are worth everything and if it is for you I will even give you my heart.... so don't give up"