Finding The Light

51

Warnings:
-Mentions starvation + weight loss (weight mentioned)

Clay's POV

I was too afraid to seek Reggie's attention and stayed away from him when we were in the museum. Luckily, Reggie had been walking on a far distance with a pale face, but Jason was with him so I didn't feel guilty for not going to him to check if he was alright.

As soon as we came back to our room, he laid down on his bed and curled up. However, the worst thing was that after not eating breakfast, he refused to come to dinner as well and continued to lay on his bed to hide from the others.

'Clay, can we talk?' I turned around and looked at Jason, who stood behind me with a worried glance in his eyes. I nodded and walked with him to the door, expecting him to be into sexual activity like usual.

'Do you want to do it here?' I asked with a grin, but he shook his head and shrugged my hand off when it reached his shoulder. 'Alright, what have I done wrong?'

'Nothing, but I wanted to talk to you about a few things... Starting with your drug usage,' he admitted. 'Because I know you're not like this and you're changing into someone I barely know. You're trying to suppress the feeling of guilt, but you're making it worse and worse.'

I stayed quiet, because admitting I had a problem was too difficult. Instead, I decided to wait for him to continue speaking after an awkward silence that I created.

'Anyway, it's okay if you're not ready to talk about it, but I wanted to have it said. I'm okay with hooking up, but I don't want to anymore when you're high.'

'Alright...' I stumbled as I wanted to walk away, but he grabbed my hand and pulled me back.

'Clay, I know you hate him, but I have to talk to you about Reggie. I'm afraid we are losing him and I really want to help him. Today, he met two people and they spoke. When Reggie came back, he was as pale as a ghost and hasn't said a word anymore since. I know you've known him for a while, so maybe you know anything about them.'

'Who were they?' I asked with a faster beating heartbeat. 'Do you know their names?'

'Not quite, but I'm pretty sure the girl called her boyfriend Em.'

My heart skipped a beat and my cheeks flushed red within a second. I didn't hesitate and pushed Jason aside, running back to our shared room. 'Reggie? Are you here?'

It was dead silence as I looked around the room. Without hesitation, I walked to the bathroom door and grabbed my credit card like Tobias showed me before.

I opened the door and pushed it open with such a force that it slammed against the wall. However, I was greeted with something unexpected and gasped for air as I ran to Reggie's body on the floor.

It was clear he wasn't planning on fainting, because he had his sleeves lifted up high and had cuts filled with blood in them, drops rolling down on the floor.

'Reggie, wake up,' I demanded as I shook his body. 'Jason, get the doctor!'

Jason sped inside and with the shortest glance, he ran off again to get a nurse. As he did, I gently wrapped toilet paper around Reggie's arms and pulled his sleeves down so the cuts wouldn't be as visible to others.

Luckily, it didn't take long for the nurse to run into the room and she lifted Reggie up into her arms. As she did, Reggie slowly started to open his eyes again and glanced up at everyone around him in confusion.

'It looks like you fainted,' the nurse explained to him. 'I'm going to take your blood pressure, heartbeat and blood sugar to see if there is a medical problem. I would like to weigh you in my room.'

'I don't want to,' he whispered, which worried me so much that I stood up and smiled.

'I'll come with you,' I suggested. His eyes went from anxious to confused and then he smiled gently with a nod. Jason ruffled my hair as I walked past and followed the nurse and Reggie to her room.

When we arrived, he sat down on the bed and hopefully looked at me. I decided to sit down next to him, but felt immediate butterflies in my stomach when I was close to him, however, I didn't mind because I had felt nothing other than cravings to drugs lately.

'Could you lift your sleeve?' the nurse asked Reggie, which created a hopelessness in his eyes.

'Rather not...' he whispered, but the nurse smiled and shook her head.

'Reggie, I really need to take your blood pressure. Is there anything you're trying to hide?'

'I just...' he started, slowly raising his sleeve. It revealed the blood-soaked pieces of toilet paper and made the nurse nod slowly.

'I'm going to take care of those too,' she said without making a drama out of it. She wrapped the blood pressure monitor around Reggie's tiny upper arm and clicked start.

Reggie looked at me and turned his eyes away from embarrassment, but slowly, I took the step to grab his hand for comfort. He smiled right away and his cheeks filled with a pink blush, glancing away from shyness.

'Your blood pressure and heartbeat are too low,' the nurse stated as she looked at the values. 'It's 65/46, while it's supposed to be at least 90/60. Your heartbeat is 48. Could you step on the scale for me?'

'Do I really have to?' he asked, which made the nurse nod.

'I see in your files that you've already lost twenty pounds and are classified as underweight. I would like to make sure you've gained some weight, but I'm suspecting there's an eating disorder.'

I hopelessly looked at him when I realised the severity of his problems. Twenty pounds was more than I could imagine and it made me rethink how often he skipped dinner and breakfast...

Reggie stepped onto the scale with burning cheeks, the number being so worrying that the nurse sighed. '116 pounds (52,6kg)... You've lost seventeen more pounds, Reggie. Your BMI is 15.3, which is so dangerously low that I'm tempted to send you to the nearby hospital.'

'No, no, I'm fine!' he exclaimed. 'I'm eating enough, I just walk more.'

'You know that's not true,' I whispered with tears in my eyes. 'Reggie, do you have anorexia?'

'No, I don't!' he yelled out. 'I'm fine, I'm really not that thin as that BMI stuff is making it out to be. I've been eating enough and it won't happen again.'

Meanwhile, the nurse pricked his finger to measure his blood sugar and shook her head. 'Your blood sugar is 3,5, Reggie. I'm afraid I'll have to admit you to the hospital if this doesn't improve within days.'

'It will,' he groaned as he stood up and started to walk away. I immediately followed him and as he closed the door, I grabbed his shoulders and looked him into the eyes.

'Reggie, I didn't know you have anorexia... I'm really worried about you.'

'I don't have-.'

'I know you're not eating anymore,' I answered. 'You skipped every meal so far... I also know you saw Emilio and Nicky.'

His face turned pale right away, his hands shaking heavily. 'Just... forget about that.'

'Reggie, was Emilio the one who has raped you?' I asked because I saw the hopelessness in his eyes.

He hesitated for a bit, but with a shaky bottom lip, he nodded his head. I put all my shame aside and stepped closer to him to give him a tight hug. 'You're allowed to cry, just let it all out.'

I didn't even have to say my second sentence or he bursted out into tears, grasping onto me because he needed me so much...

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