Finding The Light

30

Warnings:
-None

Clay's POV

While I was filled with guilt and still hungover after what happened, I walked home. I hadn't stopped thinking about the questions I answered, the conversation I had with Reggie and the teacher, but mostly the actions I had done while deciding to get drunk.

Going home was one of the worst possible answers to my problems, but honestly, I felt awfully alone without Reggie and even being at home was better than being on my own, walking around the park while Reggie and I used to do that together.

With a knot in my stomach, I opened the door to my home and the coldest place on earth. A father who refused to acknowledge you as his son, just because I did the same thing as he did every day, was harder than I could have ever imagined it to be. But the silent treatment he had been giving me was honestly the most painful part about this whole situation.

Slowly, I walked into the living room and noticed an unusual silence. I groaned and put my bag down on the floor in the corner of the room, walking to the kitchen to grab a snack. Usually, my father was downstairs on the couch and glared at me like I was an intruder.

But honestly, I didn't mind the peace and quiet and grabbed a biscuit from the cupboard as suddenly, someone laid their hands on my eyes. I gasped and was tempted to hit my elbow in their stomach, but I jumped away and turned around instead.

It took me a while to process what was going on, but then I screamed and jumped into my mother's arms. 'I thought you would come later!' I yelled out, looking into her loving eyes.

She smiled and kissed my cheek as gently as she could, grabbing my hand with a tender grasp. 'Yeah, but I could get back earlier. When I spoke to you on the phone, I could sense you weren't feeling alright and wanted to be here for you, sweetheart.'

'Mom, I'm so happy to see you!' I exclaimed with a voice crack from excitement. 'I missed you so much, I can't wait to spend time with you again.'

She pecked my forehead and gently let me to the couch. 'You seem tired, love. I want you to take good care of yourself and sleep.'

'No, you have to tell me about the trip,' I demanded with a genuine smile on my face. 'I can't wait to hear about it.'

'Fine,' she replied with a laugh, wrapping an arm around me. 'Come, lay with me.'

~~~

I could listen to my mother's stories for hours and even got her full attention for hours, until it was time for dinner. My father had been gone for all of those hours, and while I knew where he was, my mother had no clue and thought he was doing the groceries or something.

But no matter how badly I wanted to be honest to her, right after our argument, my father threatened me and told me that if I would tell her what he did, he would tell her what I had done. I had an inseparable bond with my mother and didn't want to lose it...

'It's so fun to have dinner with the two people I love the most,' my mother exclaimed as she put my plate in front of me and grabbed my and my father's hand to pray for the food.

However, my dad refused to grab my hand and pulled away instead, which made my mother frown. She immediately saw the disappointment in my eyes and rubbed her thumb over the top of my hand.

'Has something happened?' she questioned before the prayer started. 'I have a feeling that you're angry at Clay, honey.'

'He refused to study for the third time this week and got another bad grade,' my father lied as if it was nothing.

My mother turned her eyes to me and smiled gently, but the look in my eyes was rather dull with a spark of anger. 'Is that true, love?'

I stayed quiet for a while and then shrugged because I felt lost for words. 'Sure,' I whimpered as I stood up and shoved my chair backwards. I grabbed my plate and walked to the door. 'I'll eat in my room.'

Quickly, before the tears would fill my eyes, I stormed off and ran to my room. I put my plate down on my desk because I was nowhere near hungry and curled up in my bed, the sadness overwhelming me too much to stay strong for any longer.

'You know you shouldn't get angry at him when he doesn't get good grades. I thought everything was going well, but you're not even speaking to him!' my mother defended me downstairs while tears started to roll down my cheeks.

'It's not the first encounter we've had. He has been really rebellious lately and honestly, it's unbearable to be around him sometimes.'

I felt nausea fill my body the more lies he told her, disgusted as I thought about him cheating on her multiple times a day without showing any signs of loving her less. He was a pathetic liar and caused me nothing but pain, but of course, I would be seen as the bad guy.

But after I heard my mother sigh loudly, I noticed she was walking up the stairs to go to my room. She knocked softly and then came in, sitting on the side of my bed with a sweet smile on her face and her arms wide open.

'Hey, love. I feel like you've not been doing okay since I've left. You lost that beautiful spark in your eyes.'

'It's nothing...' I mumbled, looking away from her because I hated to lie to her more than anything. I lifted myself up to lay down in her arms and sobbed softly.

Within seconds from the first sob, I couldn't hold back even more of the tears and bursted out into the most I had had in ages. My mother grasped onto me as tightly as she could and continuously began to kiss my jaw.

'You don't need to tell me about it, as long as you know you're allowed to talk about anything you wish. I would never judge you, sweetheart.'

For a second, I had the courage to tell her what happened, but then closed my mouth again as I remembered it became a lot more complicated than what my father thought it was. I didn't want her to be disappointed with what I had done. I just wanted to have someone around who would still love me...

1123 words