Touch of Fate || Hyunlix

t w e n t y - s e v e n

First person pov. (Jisung)

Work has been tough today, I couldn't bring myself to bare with the situation that I was faced with. Unwillingly, completely unaware of what was to await me. I desperately tried to avoid any contact with the person whom I once called my best friend. If I had known that we'd share the same work place, I would have applied somewhere else. In fact anywhere but near her, a nightmare of mine which was yet to return.

I didn't pay much attention to Minho's orders or desires, as I was stuck in the world of my own, dreading every breath I'd take. Even it, is a reminder of my past. I tried my best to focus on work, feeling guilty upon every distraction that would occur to me caused by overthinking.

I think Minho has noticed my behaviour though I ignored his worried eyes aimed at me, I never want anyone to know the truth about me. The truth which I have hidden so desperately, either behind a smile or a lie to comfort the other person listening. I don't want him to know about all the things that have happened, as even I have felt ashamed to face it.

How could I tell the world what happened if I can't phrase it in a sentence myself? I didn't know the answer to that, there probably being none anyway.

Minho had asked me several times if I had wished to go home, but each time he did, I shook my head no because I knew that the moment I walked through my apartment door that a breakdown would occur.

I don't want to feel weak, crying is not something I do, feeling is not something I know and empathy is not something I carry. It's difficult to live in a society in which you can never be good enough, there's always something wrong. No matter how hard you try.

When the clock ticked at 7pm, my shift was finally over. I let out a sigh in relief, finally being able to leave the place which was suffocating me all day long. Just how will I be able to do this again, tomorrow?

I shook my head, pushing away such thoughts as I packed everything and left to go home. Usually, it would be a place which I would run off to whenever I felt the need to escape. But now, I don't know how to feel about it.

I had finally made it inside the bus when I heard my phone buzzing in my pocket. I picked it up, noticing Felix's contact name being displayed on the screen.

I couldn't speak to him, at least not in the state that I was currently in. Was it nostalgia, was it anger or the feeling of betrayal I felt? I couldn't tell, but even so, I didn't want to let it out on Felix.

I wanted to at least keep one friend by my side.

A few minutes later, I got out at my stop slowly making my way towards my apartment. I was living on the seventh floor so taking the stairs was a daily task. I hated elevators, they brought me such discomfort and despite it being a long way up, I still, refused to take the elevator.

After some time I was in front of my apartment, taking out the keys from my pocket, unlocking the door shortly after and locking it behind me. I let out yet another sigh, I felt exhausted.

I thought about getting to bed immediately, but that alone didn't feel right as I have still not had my late night coffee and if I were to fall asleep now, I'd wake up too early and that's not something I wanted.

I changed out of my suit into some more comfortable clothing and made my way towards the kitchen. I looked through every small cabinet, scratching the back of my head afterwards. Apparently I had run out of coffee. Good grief, what perfect timing.

I shrugged in dissatisfaction, choosing chamomile tea as a replacement for the night. Maybe it would make me sleep better, or feel better. In all honesty, I had no idea what I felt. The hangout kept repeating in my head nonstop, her face and her smile still being the same yet the feeling of injustice being done to me had also, never left me.