Marvel one-shots

45. Caught in lies - P3

I - however little I liked to admit it - did feel better. Only when my breathing returned to normal did I notice the guard stood in the doorway, confused and looking between me and James.

"Mr Barnes are you alright?" the guard asked, sending me a glare.

"Yes, now leave us," James ordered.

The guard nodded and left the room. James sat in front of me and took my wrists firmly in his hands.

"I told you I could help you," he said.

"How did you do that?" I asked in a whisper.

I didn't know why his harsh method had made me so terrified and angry. He spoke words. He didn't show any proof. Just words.

"You're mentally unstable. The only way to get through to you is being brutally honest and not caring if you get hurt. It will save you pain in the long term."

I blinked slowly.

"Being here has changed you Y/n. You might not think it's good, but it is. You might be suffering now, but its a result of all those you murdured."

"Shut up," I muttered. "I hate you."

However much I said this, I didn't believe this deep inside. Everything was changing and I was scared. I was scared to show I was scared. Keeping those feelings pent up inside of me made me worse. James was right. I was about to implode.

"Y/n, I'm trying to help you, not hurt you."

I didn't speak. I knew he was trying to help. But I couldn't admit it.

"Just go away, please!" I raised my voice and realised it was tremoring dangerously.

I was getting close to having another breakdown.

"I remember the girl you were," Barnes continued.

"James I swear to god if you don't leave I'll kill you!" I warned.

"You won't."

"I will."

I knew I couldn't, but I could try to scare him. Being stubborn was my best bet.

"Also, my name's Bucky, not James."

"Same thing," I snapped.

He sighed.

"Fine, kill me."

"Happily," I muttered, looking away.

"Well go on then, what are you waiting for?" he asked.

I ignored him.

"I remember you before you were made into a psychopath."

I clenched my fists and gritted my teeth. He was doing it again. If he wanted me to hurt him, I damn well would!

"I remember how sweet and kind you were. How you swore never to shed blood. I remember how you resisted the darkness trying to swallow you."

My breathing became ragged.

"You came to me that Friday night at the bar and told me how you went rock climbing with your friends."

"Bucky, stop, please," I pleaded in a furious whisper.

"You got drunk from how happy you were. I was proud of you for doing something other than fighting everything."

I tensed my muscles involuntarily and threw a punch at Bucky's face. He caught my wrist with his metal arm.

"The day the darkness took over your mind was the last day I saw you sane. You left and never came back."

"Shut your fucking mouth!" I cried, kicking the super soldier.

James stood up as I got to my feet. He blocked my attacks.

"Get it out of you," he told me. "Go on, punch me."

Being told to do it made me stop and back up.

"Psychopath."

The word made something click in my head and I ran at Bucky. He grabbed my waist with his metal arm and used his human arm to stab something in the side of my neck. I felt myself paralysed. My limbs fell limp and Bucky carried me to the bed where he sat beside me, holding onto my hand.

"You'll get better... I promise..." he promised. "But you've got to stop being caught in these lies."

I felt the rage simmer down. The injection must've also had a calming effect.

"How?" I whispered.

"Confront the truth Y/n. It hurts, I know, but I'm not giving up on you."

I bit my lip anxiously.

"I don't want to remember it. I don't want to go back there. My head's a mess."

"I know, I felt the same way."

He gently stroked his human index finger across my cheek.

"You've been deluded by the lies you've told yourself Y/n. But they're just lies."

"Lies can corrupt people forever Bucky," I replied, my voice cracking.

He sighed. I knew he agreed with me from his expression.

"Stop thinking you're a psychopath. You're a girl who's had way too many run ins with the wrong people."

"I still killed."

I didn't know what to feel anymore. Bucky was right. I had changed. I wasn't the vengeful killer I had been 2 weeks ago. I regretted the blood I'd shed.

"You're not a villain Y/n," Bucky told me.

"Yes I am. I don't give a fuck either."

"You're broken. Stuck believing the lies you told yourself."

James took a breath before finishing with, "I love you."