To Baldur's Gate

Chapter Seventeen

News of our success quickly traveled around the grove and before we knew it, the druids and tieflings were weaving us daisy chains and singing prayer songs. A large feast was held in our honor, complete with every dish one could imagine. I thought I saw Gale tear up at the sight of the cooked goose, but one can't be sure. 

The afternoon slipped into evening, and the bards came out to play for us. I'd had a few glasses of the different wines and brews and was starting to feel it. So when a fiddler began to play after dinner, and he was quickly joined by a flutist and a druid with a lyre, there were no inhibitions to stop me from swaying to the music. The music was so joyful and so wonderful, that I just had to get up. I grabbed the person closest to me - Shadowheart - and drew her to the floor beside the large feast tables. The local girls had gifted us dresses and skirts as thank yous, and the beautiful fabric swayed with every step we took. 

"Oh gods, what are we doing?" Shadowheart whispered. I just laughed and held her hands, spinning along to the music. Soon enough there were drums and another flute, vamping up the rhythm of the song they were playing. A few others joined us on the floor and the chairs and tables were cleared out of the way, making more room for the dancing that we were starting. Couples found their way to the floor, as well as children and friends, all of us twirling and spinning to the fast paced song. 

When it was over, Shadowheart and I were laughing and grinning so wide that it hurt. We clapped and thanked the musicians, but the night was far from over. When another song began to play, my eyes searched along the chairs for a familiar face. When I saw Astarion watching me from the side lines, I began to walk toward him, smile only widening at his surprised expression. 

"Will you dance with me?" I asked, breathless. 

His eyes focused on me, pinning me down and holding me. "You want me to dance with you?" His voice was thick and full of emotion as he set down the glass in his hand. 

"You don't have to, I just ... " Finding my courage, I grabbed for his hand and pulled him toward me, pressing his chest against mine. Though he wasn't as tall as Wyll or Halsin, I still had to look up to meet his eyes. "Yes, I want you to dance with me, Astarion." 

"Okay then. Lead the way," He replied, a soft smile that showed off his dimples graced his face. 

I held his hands and led us back to the dance floor where the music had slowed down, seemingly just for us in this moment. Astarion slid an arm around my waist and held my hand with the other, keeping it close to his shoulder. His warmth and scent filled my very soul with longing. I gazed up at him, wanting to tell him my feelings, but scared that I would only feel the sting of rejection if I let them show. All I could do now was hope he felt at least a little of the same thing. 

.........................

As she looked up at me, I saw what I had seen in so many of my past victims. Tav's eyes were windows into her heart and soul, and I knew in an instant that she was developing a weakness for me. A soft spot. There were only two differences between then and now.
The first being that Tav was not something I was ordered to bring back to Cazador.
The second was that I might have felt the same about her. 

Her red hair and the scales along her cheek bones shimmered in the fire light of the camp and I couldn't think of a time in my life when I had thought anything was so beautiful. Her eyes showed me something that I had been so afraid of all of these years. It was in her every word to me, her every action, in everything she did she seemed to have me as her priority.
She loved me, that much was obvious. And what did I feel? I was too scared to find out. 

"You're a very good dancer," She said, but she didn't sound surprised. 

"Cazador held many parties and balls, so it was only logical that all his little pets should learn to dance." I held Tav's arm above her head and gave her a twirl. "I like to think I was one of the better dancers. All thanks to my elvish graces." 

"I think you're beautiful," Tav blurted. Her cheeks were stained dark red from the few drinks that she'd had, but the effects were starting to show elsewhere as well. "And I hope you know that." 

"Thank you, Tav." I leaned in close and could smell the sweet pea scent of her skin. "I think you're beautiful too. The most beautiful thing I've seen in a hundred years." 

The small gasp that escaped her lips made me wonder how often she had been complimented on her looks. After growing up in the Underdark and then meeting all the people here, my guess was not often enough. 

"You really think so?" She asked, voice soft. I held her close and in that moment, it was easy to believe nothing else existed. It was just her and me, swaying to the music in some tavern. 

"I really do." 

"Astarion?" 

"Yes, Tav?" I knew what was coming. 

"I think ... I think I love you." Her words were barely a whisper, but they were there. 

"Don't say that," I replied, hating the way my words crushed her. "You don't want me, Tav. You really don't." 

She pushed away from me, stumbling back on her heels. "You don't get to tell me what I want. Or how to feel. Like right now? I'm pissed off. Forget I said anything." Tav turned and tried to storm off, but her feet were like thin reeds in the wind. Watching her struggle was more than I could stand. I moved toward her once again, but this time I swept her up into my arms, already registering how her body felt so close to me, knowing it would be the last time I was allowed to hold her. 

"Let go of me, Astarion," she growled. "Let. Me. Go. Now." 

"Not yet, pet," I answered. "I need to tell you something." Leaving the noise of the party behind, I carried a squirming Tav toward a quieter spot.