She's In Love With A Geek

Chapter 53 - Tug Of War

COURTNEY's POV

Talking to Jackson was such a great help. He gave me some perspective that I didn't have or even realize before. Both him and my friends were basically on the same page and believed that what I did was really dumb.

Not gonna argue with that.

I thanked Jackson for his help, especially when he said not to give up. The fact that it came from Chad's best friend made such an impact. That's what I needed at that point, more so after what happened that day.

I also told Jackson to make sure Chad gets the paper bag I left for him. At this point, I was relying on the letter I had written for him, hoping it would be enough to get through him or even speak to him because I wasn't sure if I would have another chance to talk to him now that Olivia is around.

After that, and thanking him again, I left.

The situation was getting harder to handle. Every time I thought of a plan, it always backfired on me. It was as if I kept reaching a dead end.

"Trust me, this will all be worth it in the end."

Yes, Jackson's words somehow gave me some hope, but despite this I still couldn't help but feel down, especially whenever I remember how Olivia hugged Chad, and to make things even worse, how he wrapped his arm around her.

The image just kept replaying in my head--torturing me in the process.

As much as I wanted to stay positive, I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed. I had no idea how I would make it through. I honestly ran out of ideas. My head just wanted to give up, but my heart was too stubborn to listen. It's like my heart and my head were in a tug of war.

I was so happy to have Terry with me throughout the whole night. When I arrived home, she immediately asked me what happened, and the only thing I could do was shake my head. With just that, she totally understood already. She hugged me and let me cry on her shoulder. She told me everything was going to be alright, even though she couldn't do anything to make the situation better.

I cried myself to sleep, feeling a mix of emotions--hurt, sadness, jealousy, and frustration. I was overwhelmed and I didn't know how to make it stop.

Damn it.

How I could shed so many tears over a guy I had known for just a few months and had a relationship that lasted only for a few days, not even a week, was beyond me.

I tried to convince myself that there would be someone else, I could find someone better. But let's face it, there's no one better than Chad.

I groaned and cursed and blamed myself for being so stupid. Why did I let my feelings get so out of control? Why did I let myself fall in love again?

That had been the question that I kept asking myself since I woke up. It's Saturday, a brand new day, but felt like I was still stuck in yesterday.

Well, I have been sulking for god knows how long now. I guess I need to get out of my bed and find something to do. Anything that can distract me from this depression I am in.

I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror, stopping me in my tracks. "God, I looked awful!" My eyes were puffy from all the crying and my hair was a mess. I was so used to seeing myself looking pretty and great in the morning, and this was a completely different level! I sighed, "This is what you get from falling in love; a broken heart and a messy face."

I went to the kitchen to get some ice to press against my eyes, hoping it would reduce the puffiness. Suddenly, I was caught off guard by a loud pop sound that made me jump in alarm. My head whipped around to see what was that noise about. To my surprise, I saw Terry with a big, pink balloon, Lucy with a cake, Jenny and Fiona with party poppers. They all shouted, "Happy Birthday!"