She's In Love With A Geek

Chapter 41 - I Told You So

CHAD's POV

Crazy.

If there is one word to describe how this week started, it is crazy.

Before all this, I was adamant to ignore the obvious—my feelings for Courtney. Reasoning out that these feelings were just passing, and all this was just a misunderstanding.

I cared for her because I was looking out for her, wanting to help her graduate in the right way—that was it. I ignored and refused to entertain the idea that it was something bigger. I didn't want to admit I had feelings for her. I was too much of a coward to confront them, and so I convinced myself that it was all about looking out for her.

For self-preservation.

But it was clear that these feelings were more than just a passing phase.

But still, I tossed it aside. After everything that happened, falling for someone was the last thing, even not a thing, in my mind. It wasn't part of my high school agenda. I told myself that once was enough.

There were many things I could do better in my free time than this—like finalize my college plans and pick my school already. Besides, after all this, I was certain that I would just leave everything behind and prioritize my new dreams.

But I didn't realize that part of my new dream was her.

Looking back, I was so sure that it wouldn't come to this. I would never have imagined it happening. I guess she felt the same.

In all honesty, I just made that deal to shut her up at the time and leave me alone. Her constant presence and persistence inconvenienced my activities—my actual plans. But as time went on, I found myself wanting to see her often and having her around always completes my day.

I thought at that time that if I set a very difficult and downright impossible task, she would back out and just let it go. This is because neither of us would fall on that thing called love anyway.

Never.

Never say never, I guess.

The memories made me chuckle. Her determination at the time was so steadfast, she was sure she could make it happen. She would make me fall for her.

Well, she succeeded. I could almost hear her say I told you so.

Looking back, I tried to recall at which point I started caring about her—really caring about her. That she became a permanent resident on my thoughts. That her smile were the reason of my sleepless nights.

It was crazy!

I tried my very best not to. I've been holding back, denying this feeling for some time now. But in the end, I couldn't help it anymore. I fell for someone I thought I could never love.

She has won without even realizing it.

The moment I realized my true feelings and couldn't deny them anymore, I told myself to stay away, to stop deluding myself, that it might end up the same as before. Same as Olivia.

Though I reasoned that Courtney was nothing like her, that this situation was completely different, I couldn't deny the facts. Plus how Jackson pointed things out. I had to accept that I was making the same mistake again. I tend to turn a blind eye to this. My judgement gets easily clouded.

At that time, I felt a sense of dread wash over me as I realized I was repeating the same pattern. I had to find a way to break it. So I listened to Jackson. He was my best friend after all.

He would know better, he would see things I refused to look at.

Besides, I didn't listen to him before and look where it got me? But that was a thing in the past now. No need to dwell on it, just learn from it.