Against Reason

Love Made Me Crazy

~"Oh Lord Save me, my drug is my baby, I'll be using for the rest of my life"~

Aria

I stand out in the cold winter air, in front of Vera's front door. This is a mistake. Nothing good can come of this. I'm making a fucking fool of myself.

That voice isn't loud enough though because another voice is telling me not to let this woman go. I finally raise my hand and knock on the door. A few seconds later, Vera opens the door and her brows raise in shock.

"Why- What are you doing here Aria?" she asks, confused. I suddenly feel very self conscious. Her eyes are hard and lack the loving, adoration look I'm used to.

"Can I come in?"

"Do you really think that's a good idea?" she sighs. I can't argue with that logic, so I just shove past her and enter the warm home. Vera just groans, annoyed.

"I'm sorry," is what comes out of my mouth. The woman narrows her eyes at me and leans her back against the front door, crossing her arms and closing herself off from me. "I should never have acted the way I did the other night. I was stupid and immature and cruel. You didn't deserve any of that."

"Do you really think an apology will make me forgive you for basically calling me a pedophile?"

"No. I know that's not enough, and I'm not even here for your forgiveness. I just needed to tell you how sorry I am about everything I said. I didn't mean any of it, I was just drunk and wanted to hurt you. You know that I don't give a fuck how much older than me you are. I mean, I wouldn't be here apologizing to you if I had meant any of the things I said."

Vera scans my face, trying to judge how sincere I am.

"You said some horrible things Aria," she sighs, her eyes watering a bit. My heart. I did this.

"I know I did. And I am so fucking sorry. I will spend however long it takes to prove to you just how sorry I am. You are the last person on the entire Earth who deserved to be talked to that way."

"You made me sound disgusting." Her voice breaks a bit.

"I know," I whisper, now tearing up myself. "If I could take it all back I would in an instant. I don't give a fuck that you're older than me, or that whatever this is-" I gesture to the space between her and I, "Is a little unconventional. Truthfully, you make me happier than I've been in years. Happier than I ever thought I'd be. And I would be an idiot if I didn't at least try to apologize to you."

She looks at me, stunned. A slight blush colors her face at my admission.

"What am I supposed to do here? Just forgive you and go back to the way things were?"

I sigh. Honestly if I was in her shoes I'd probably have thrown myself out of this house before I opened my mouth.

"You don't have to. You could tell me to go fuck myself and I'd leave you alone."

"Aria you know I could never do that, no matter how much I wanted to."

She sadly smiles at me, and a single tear falls from her blue eyes. Instinctively, I step closer to her and gently wipe it away with my thumb, my palm resting on her cheek. She leans into my touch slightly, staring into my eyes with a scared, but love drunk look. My eyes dart down to her lips quickly, but I know she catches it because she gently grabs my hips with her hands and pulls me flush against her. I can feel her warm breath on my lips, as my heart goes crazy in my chest. The woman looks at my lips for a second, before looking back to my eyes. I see her wordlessly give me permission, and I waste no time softly pressing my lips to hers. She immediately kisses me back, and we move in blissful harmony. I've fucking missed this. I know it's only been like a week, but it felt like a lifetime. Her mouth dominates mine, and she grabs fistfuls of my shirt to pull me as close as possible. I hold the sides of her face like she'll disappear any second. This is not how I expected this to go.