Against Reason

I Care About You

~ "oh, my love, my darling, i've hungered for your touch a long, lonely time" ~

I wake up around 9 because my arm has fallen asleep because of the position I'm in. I groan and wipe my weary eyes as I sit up. Jesus fuck. What happened last night? I see a bag of molly on the floor and connect the dots pretty quickly. Then a bunch of memories from the past 24 hours come flooding back, and I have to lie down again. It feels like too much effort to bother getting up. I chuckle at myself, because for some reason this is funny to me.

I grab my phone and call my brother.

"Aria? What you need?"

"G can you take me to my house, I can't get up right now."

"Where you at?"

"Iris's."

"Fuck. Alright, Be there in 5."

I hang up and drop my phone on the floor before curling up into a ball. These clothes don't do much in the way of warmth, and my tights are even more ripped than they were when I put them on. My eyeliner is most definitely smeared, and my hair reeks of cigarettes and alcohol. This is great.

Eventually Garret comes and lets himself in, thankfully Iris is still knocked out. He calls my name and I groan from the bathroom. G finds me, sees the barf in the toilet and my vulnerable position, and sighs deeply. I feel almost guilty? For disappointing him like this?

"Goddamn it Aria, what is going on with you?" he mumbles.

He picks me up bridal style and I go limp in his arms, too tired to do anything. He walks me out to his car and places me in the backseat before driving me back home. As he drives, I stare at the grey sky through the window with glazed over eyes. My brain is concerningly empty, no thoughts come through, just radio silence and a heavy weight sitting on my chest.

G carries me into my house, bridal style once again, and I happen to glance over at Vera's bedroom window. I see a blurred figure with a brunette head just standing there. Before I can make out any details, we're in my living room, then up the stairs, then in my bedroom. Garret gently places me on my cozy bed, before untying my docs and tossing them aside. I groan and attempt to remove my itchy tights and restrictive skirt. G rolls his eyes before unbuttoning my skirt, and pulling it down my legs along with my tights. I'm left in my black panties and velvety tank. He quickly covers me with my comforter, then pushes some of my hair out of my face.

"I gotta go run some stuff out to a guy in Stonybrook, you gonna be good here for a while?" I gaze up at his sweet blue eyes, stupid looking buzz cut, and his adorable freckles all over his face. He stands, waiting for an answer, and I just nod and burrow into my bed. He kisses me on the top of my head, then makes his exit.

I fall into a deep, drug induced sleep, safe from the harsh realities of my life, shielded by my white comforter and the mountain of pillows surrounding me.

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I sleep for about 13 hours, take a sip of water, then sleep for another 11 hours. I awaken Sunday feeling like shit, despite my 24 hours sleep.

Serotonin drop. That's the only way to describe what I'm going through as I lie in bed, too tired to get up. Everything feels extremely difficult, and I can pinpoint the cause easily.

My stomach makes concerning noises, probably because I haven't eaten since lunch Friday. But getting up right now to make food sounds miserable. No way. My stomach groans again and I shove my head under some pillows. I love my bed.