Against Reason

Really Aria?

~ "and i could see you up against the wall with me. and what would you do, baby if you only knew, that i can see you" ~

Weeks Later

Vera's POV

The second I wake up, I'm exhausted. I feel like I've been hit by a bus. Dealing with the emotional components of a divorce is physically exhausting. I groan, and slowly get out of bed. Aria didn't sleep over last night, I believe she went to some party with a few friends. That was probably a good choice, because I'm in a bitchy mood already.

I'd be lying if I said it didn't bother me how often she drinks or gets high or pulls out a vape mid-conversation. Maybe it's the age gap, but all of those things are a big turn off. And I've begun to notice that whenever I become busy with something and pull away the tiniest bit, she falls back into her old habits of partying and passing out at someone's house. I do realize that she is half my age, but I rarely think about it when we're together. I wish she could shamelessly be the Aria that she is with me. The real Aria, who likes black and white shows, reads poetry, is a huge goofball, and extremely romantic. It's frustrating. I don't want to force her to be someone she isn't and I want her to have fun, but her choices affect me. I'm the one who has to fucking nurse her through hangovers.

It's not something I want to bring up, but it's really been bothering me lately and with all the other bullshit in my life right now, I'm not sure I can tolerate much more. I already have two kids to keep alive, I don't need a third one...

....I really am obsessed with her though. Everything about her is intoxicating, from her raspy, honey-like voice, to her stupid sense of humor, to her dimples that don't appear unless she smiles really big. But ultimately, she is 18 and at a completely different point of her life than I am. It's not even like we're dating, because I am her teacher and we can't go on dates like actual couples. This entire situation is so fucking confusing.

Needless to say, my rope is a lot thinner than usual today.

——

Of course as soon as my eyes fall onto Aria during first hour, I forget all of her faults. She twirls a strand of her dark hair while staring at the worksheet I assigned. I gave the students work time because there's five minutes left of class and I did assign a good amount of homework, and I've been smart enough to not make eye contact with the girl all period. But as soon as I sit at my desk, my eyes automatically fall onto her. She chews her lip in concentration, unknowingly making my heart rate quicken.

After writing the answer down to one question, she puts her pencil down and begins a conversation with Iris. I roll my eyes, keeping seniors motivated during the second semester is literally impossible. Iris whispers something to Aria, which causes Aria to laugh loudly before putting her hand over her mouth and looking around to see who heard her guffaw.

Her eyes land on me and I shoot her my best 'Get to work' look. Aria's eyes widen in fear and she shooes Iris away from her, shushing the girl. She rapidly picks up her pencil and obviously fakes writing answers down. I smirk to myself.

The bell rings, and I watch the students filter out of my room. Naturally, Aria is the only straggler, pretending to drop her pencil case as an excuse to stay longer.

"Subtle" I said from my desk, crossing my arms. Aria looks up from where she's picking up her fallen pencils with an evil grin.

Her messy hair is up in a bun today, with stray ringlets falling around her perfect face. Her body is clad in joggers and a tight top. Even in loungewear she manages to make my breath catch in my throat.