I Want You To Stay With Me

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Their lips met briefly, a fleeting tender first kiss. Then they stared at each other again. Both of them tried to process what had happened just now. "I... I'm gonna step out a bit. Do you need something?", Fjodor then said, grabbing his phone. Nikolai shook his head. "Fine, I'll be back soon." His voice was still shaking a bit.

"Fedja, what do you want? Do you know what time it is?" Fjodor leaned against a lamp pole just down the street when he called his sister. "Fedja? You there?" Her voice echoed through the speaker. "Sorry, I... I don't know why I called. Just forget about it. Sorry for disturbing you." He was just about to hang up, when she stopped him. "Now that I'm awake already, you can also tell me. Come on. What happened?"

The cold breeze of the night brushed through Fjodor's hair as he thought about what and how to say. "Well, I... You remember that guy I told you about?" The phone was quiet for a while. "That friend of yours? What was his name... Gogol?" Fjodor gulped. "Y... Yeah. So we... We kissed?" A squeak was heard from the other end and he quickly pulled the phone away from his ear. "Dunja! What the..." Then she chuckled. "You're so cute, Fedja! So, you like him? Like, really like." You could clearly hear her grin through the phone. Fjodor hesitated. "I don't know... I... Maybe?" Dunja chuckled again. Her brother was way too cute when he was shy about something.

"Come on, gimme the details. How did it happen? And why are you calling me this late? Did you two go out or something?" Fjodor let out a sigh. "He lives in my house for now." Dead silence. Then: "He what?! Since when? Fedja, you little..." - "No, no, please. He had some problems with his family and he's gonna leave soon for another school because of it anyway." She gasped. "Noooo! He can't! He can't break my little brother's heart like that!" Fjodor chuckled. "Noone breaks my heart, you hear me!" A bold lie. It hurt every time he thought about it. "Oh Fedja, you always have to run into trouble, do you?" As if she knew.

When he came back to the apartment, Nikolai was already asleep on his futon. Fjodor stared at him for a while. Nikolai always unbraided his hair to sleep, and it was lying around everywhere on the floor. Softly he bundled the strands and placed them next to him. You like him? Like really like? He thought about it, as he sat next to the white haired boy on the floor. What did it mean to like someone? He had never had any role model to learn from. Fjodor grit his teeth at the thought of his parents. "How should I know how this works?", he whispered.

In his sleep, Nikolai turned around, snuggling his face against Fjodor's hand, that still rested on the long white strands. Fjodor's stomach fluttered. He didn't want Nikolai to leave. He should stay with him forever. "But I feel like I might do love you." The words had left his mouth before he could comprehend them and he quickly pulled away.

The next day after school, he went straight to Nikolai's house. As student council president, it wasn't that hard to get his adress. It was a small house with a tiny garden, just enough for a small family. The doorbell echoed through the inner hall as he pressed it.

A middle aged woman opened the door. She seemed surprised. "Hello, my name is Fjodor Dostojewsky, I'm... a friend of Nikolai's." Her eyes widened when she heard his name and she immediately wanted to close the door. "Please, let me talk to you", he said, holding the door. Her expression seemed more concerned. She seemed unwilling to let him in. "Please. You read the letter? I know it's a lot and I won't deny anything. Everything I wrote is true. But Nikolai, he really means a lot to me. There won't be any troubles with his grades again, I promise. I'm the best student in class, I can tutor him in everything. Please, just don't make him transfer schools again."

It took a lot of effort to say that. He wasn't used to begging for something. People usually did what he said just from looking at his eyes. But this didn't work on grown ups. Most times at least. He leaned that soon enough.

The woman quietly listened to him, thinking of whether to trust his words or not. "Fjodor, what...?" Suddenly he heard Nikolai's voice. The white haired boy stormed through the garden to the front door. "What are you doing here?" Nikolai stopped, panting. "I could ask you the same", Fjodor said. "It's my home after all." He shrugged in a moment of careless manner. Fjodor suppressed a chuckle.





Author's note:
I love writing these wayyy too much 😅 but I'm nearly at the end of the fanfic. I am, not you, because I'm at chapter 45 rn. I'm thinking about posting everything that's left at the end of the year at once. What do you think?
And I thought about a theme for the soukoku fanfic. In my opinion it has a little bit of Cinderella, a little, very very little. Just the midnight end thing actually, but maybe I'll make chuuya the prince 😋 so it's basically a royalty AU. I kinda get used to these AU thingies. And it should probably be a lot shorter than this one. At least I hope so 😂
Happy 1st advent guys 🎄

Yours sincerely
LunaMiyazawa 💜

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