From Mine to Ours

Chapter 35: Let's make it official.

To say these past few weeks have been a lot, would be a major understatement. It's taken a toll on my mental health and I can tell it's getting to the others as well. No matter how hard they try to hide it, they're affected by this as much as I am. Their faces aren't blurred in those "exposed" pictures of us and their names are no longer unknown.

Yes, people have asked for Asher's name and relationship with me at the café. His name tag reveals the obvious, but as for the rest of the inquiries he's gotten really good at changing the topic or avoiding the question all together.

Julian has even been approached by one of his clients. Well, ex-client I should say. Turns out he was a fan and he was not happy with the fact that his dog's vet didn't give him all of the wonderful details that is his private life.

As for Sebastian, well, most already knew him somewhat. There used to be a phase where people would fangirl over his looks in random pictures taken of Alexis, since he would usually be found in the background somewhere.

What I'm trying to get at is: It appears that all sense of privacy and "mind your own business" has completely left the building. It has definitely been getting to us and I understand why. It's been a beyond scary and overwhelming situation. And some have been taking it harder than others.

"Ash..." Julian has been attempting to calm an almost hysterical Asher for the past hour in their room. We've been sitting here on their bed for a while now, talking about anything and everything really when the hot topic of what we encountered throughout the day came up. Tears have been trying to escape my own eyes at the too familiar sight. This has been going on constantly for weeks. He'll come home and tell us of the latest encounter he's had with another customer either asking for one of our numbers, our address, or specifics on our relationship. The guilt that has been rising ever since he shed his first tears at the situation is not a fun feeling at all.

However, even I surprised myself. A few months back, I would've practically begged for them to let me go back to my apartment to make sure they don't have to deal with any of this. They shouldn't have to. A thousand apologies would've come from me, but I stick to one a day and they quickly stop my feeling of doubts before I can even finish uttering the word: "sorry."

It took everything I had in me these past few weeks to remind myself that they don't have to go through this with me, but they actually want to. And they show that to me every single day.

A few months ago, I would have never felt such determination to fix things the way I do now. I don't want to leave them. I want to bring this situation to an end with them. I can't walk out of here now without knowing wholeheartedly that I've tried. That we've tried.

So, instead of expressing my guilt and taking that energy with me throughout the day, I use it to fuel the fire. We will get to the bottom of this sooner rather than later. If not for me, then for all of the fallen tears from Asher and to rid the taller two of the lovers of those worried expressions they've been adorning for weeks now. This isn't because of me.

My mind can try and get to me as much as it wants, but this isn't something I asked for. The person or even people behind this are to blame. I don't care who it is, they won't get away with it.

We'll make sure of it.

One positive thing that has come out of this is getting to know each other on a whole different level. As per usual, Sebastian and Julian have been the steady forces during this whole thing. Being in a consistent state of vulnerability around them has definitely been an experience all on it's own. Having Asher actively seek out support from me, to have me as the shoulder he wants to cry on, means more to me than even I could've thought. And vice-versa. We understand each others' concerns and sometimes it almost feels as if we feel what the other feels because we experience things so similarly in our hearts and minds.