Just us- SBI adoption story (Just me and him book 2)

Chapter 19: meanwhile in therapy

Scar's POV:

"I loaded up minecraft already. Your dad said a lot of stuff has happened recently so I thought we could just open up a new world and get talking?"

"Yea, how much do you know?" He asked, sitting down on the chair I'd already pulled up and taking off his coat. It wasn't nice out today.

"Nothing really, I thought it would be best if I heard it all from your perspective."

"Okay, so umm, my brothers got arrested, sort of and on the same night Wilbur did his school play. Tubbo came home. I might have a whole family I never realised existed but are all dead expect one. A new foster kid came to stay with us, I'm completely burnt out and last night I dissociated for the first time in years."

"That sounds like a lot to unpack. What is the thing you want to start with first?" I did my best to remain calm and professional.

"I want an older brother. And I might have an older brother. But now I'm grieving for my mum and my dad and an older sister that are all dead. And a nephew that lives half way across the world. I'm not angry. I've always been angry, I am so goddamn good at being angry. At punching and shouting and feeling the blood boil up through my veins. But I'm not angry at my biological mum for giving me up. I'm not angry at anyone for dying. I'm not angry at Phil and Kristin for not telling me sooner. I'm grieving."

"I think it's great that you can identify and explain all these emotions so clearly. That is a real skill at your age. I know a lot of adults who can't do that kind of thing."

"Mhm. I guess, I feel like there's an expectation of me to be angry and to hate people but I just don't. My mum, she put left me on the nursery door step. A place where they literally look after kids. She thought the system would look after me. If I'm angry with anyone, it's the care system. It was the one that put me through hell and back. And it might have lead me to finding Wilbur and Tommy, Tubbo, Phil and Kristin but it didn't need to put me through all the other stuff first."

"You mentioned thinking other people's expectations to be angry. Do you think they feel you should be angry at the care system?" I began organising some things in the chest, Techno was busy collecting ores still.

"Maybe. I don't think anyone has considered that might be how I'm feeling. I don't think anyone knows what to think about me. Maybe I've pushed them away." He killed a few zombies in the cave he was in.

"Can you give an example of something you might have done to push people away?"

"Wilbur, my brother, he wanted to talk to me last night and I said no. Maybe he thinks that I'll forget about him now I've got another brother. I took Wilbur under my wing in the care system. We met in a foster home and then kept ending up in the same care homes, we got placed in a different foster home together as well. By law, we're adopted siblings, but Wilbur and I are like related by blood, or it feels like it. Tommy and Tubbo are becoming a bit like that to me too. We're family, we just are."

"Do you know that's what Wilbur wanted to talk to you about?"

"Balance of probability. I never know what anyone wants to actually talk about or what they're actually thinking, not unless they say it. I do a lot of educated guessing. Probably an autistic thing."

"When's your diagnosis?"

"Soon, I don't remember exactly to be honest. My head's been a little full at the moment."

"That's alright."

"I didn't really talk to Dad about it last night or this morning. And I've not been spending as much time with Tommy as usual. And I didn't play minecraft with Tubbo the other day. I guess maybe it's okay because I've been going through difficult stuff but I don't know."