Chapter 18: buried deep

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TW- panic attack, derealization

Kelly's POV:

I sat on the uncomfortable plastic chair, swinging my legs around and trying to keep calm. All I wanted to do was see Dad; I'd missed him and been worried. Kristin and Phil and everyone were really nice and made me feel safe, but it was getting to the point where I just really wanted to go home. 

I couldn't keep my hands still. My cane was folded up next to me on the chair and my fingers were fidgety. They landed on the plasters dotted around my arms. There was a small one on my face that I ran my fingers over too. Kristin had put them on for me on that first night. We hadn't taken them off since, but I realised it had only been a day. Everything felt so much longer.

Kristin handed me the unicorn we'd bought. I smiled and ran my fingers through its fur instead. "Won't be too long now bud." I kind of liked how she called me bud.

"Mhm." I closed my eyes and tried to pretend everything was fine and normal.

"Uh hey can I help?" It was an unfamiliar voice.

"Yea we're waiting to see Mr Ethan Oliya?"

"Oh yea, sorry, someone mentioned this to me. Is this Kelly?"

"Yea. Did you want to say hi bud?"

I opened my eyes, looking in the direction of the voice. "Hey," I mumbled.

"Hey there! I've been looking after your Dad, he can't wait to see you. I bet you can't wait to see him-" she paused, things felt a little awkward. People always did this when they realised I was blind and used the word 'see'.

"Yea, I just really want to see him," I said, trying to just get on with the conversation.

"I can take you right through but we've got to be quiet okay?"

"Yep." I said, reaching out for Kristin's hand. I got my cane and off we went.

"Bambi?" I heard his voice say.

"Hey Dad," I whispered, letting Kristin guide me right to the edge of the bed, holding her hand until his took over.

"Oh Kelly, look at you!" I felt his hands around my cheeks. Leaving my cane on the bed, I placed my hands over his. "You've been so brave!"

"I thought you were dead." I choked out, now sobbing.

"I'm right here, right here and I'm always going to be here." He pushed my hair out of my face and wiped the tears from my cheeks. I just let him hold me. I'd missed his hugs. I'd missed him.

Techno's POV:

"Tech, you need to eat. Is it the wrong texture? I thought plain noodles, veg and chicken was okay? Normally you love it." I shrugged my shoulders. Dad sighed. "What do you want to eat then?"

"I don't." I said simply.

"Okay, then tonight I'll let you off. But if you are hungry, you eat, deal?" I nodded. "Did you want to come play lego star wars with us?" I shook my head. "I'll be back up at bed time to check on you then."

I heard him sigh more before he closed the door and headed downstairs.

There was a lot going on: everything had left me in burn out. Dad tried to talk to me when we first got back, but I wasn't really up for it. I wasn't up for anything really. Dad must have realised that when during the whole conversation we just had, I sat at my desk, my laptop turned off but still sat in front of me and didn't look round at him once. I've got music in my headphones, but only loud enough so that I can hear the odd beat. 

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