Chapter 3: more in common

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Techno's POV:

It was late, too late. But I'd left my homework until the last minute and then Tommy wanted me to read with him and I got all caught up in it and now I was doing homework at 1:19 am. If Mum or Dad realised I was still awake, I'd be caught up in a lecture about appropriate sleeping hours and asking for help when I need it. If I'm honest, maybe I could do with that lecture. Maybe I could do with just being hugged and told that we're going to work it out. Maybe I just needed to finish this paragraph.

Curse me choosing so many essay writing subjects. I mean, when my brain cooperates, essays are done in like 10 minutes, boom finished it. When my brain gives up on me, I'm done for. I scrambled a last few paragraphs together, put it in my school bag and slumped into bed.

I dreamed I was a youtuber, which is probably stupid but I think it's cool. I mean, imagine filming yourself playing a stupid videogame is your job! I've been thinking about jobs recently though. There was this poster I saw at school; the group I used to do my karate classes with are looking for people to help with the younger kid sessions. They provide the required training and it's in my school's hall, 5 until 7. I've tried getting a job before and it really didn't go well, so maybe this was a better way of doing it. An environment that I was familiar with, working with people who saw me at my lowest and did their best to encourage and support me. They might be a bit shocked to see me so much taller, and so grown up in some ways but something like this could be good for me.

We were too busy this evening to talk about it. Mumbo was doing all the music lessons and Mum and Dad were rushing around trying to get stuff done. Tommy was high on the slush puppie James had got him at the trampoline park and it made for an interesting evening when he finally crashed. Dad spent like 2 hours going through Tubbo's dyslexia diagnosis with him and working out all the stuff out. And Wilbur kept wanting to tell me about all the funny stuff that had happened during lunch, when he had the school production cast pizza party. 

I had my driving lesson, and when I finished, I returned home to pure chaos. Wilbur and Tubbo have been crashing about the house doing stuff I can't even work out, and then Mum was trying to vacuum up some crackers that had gotten everywhere. In the end, I curled up in my armchair in the corner of the room, and listened to some music. Mum asked if I was okay, but she left me alone as soon as I said I was tired. I preferred it like that, had she kept pushing, I likely would have just got angry. I hate that about myself.

When I finally welcomed sleep, I found it left again just as quickly and my alarm was blaring. Groaning, I lay in bed, hoping the world might swallow me whole. I put a song on I'd found on some youtube playlist and decided that if I escaped into it, I might not even be aware of the fact I was putting on my tie or brushing my teeth. And maybe, if I was very lucky, my teachers would have something 'fun' for today's lesson and I get away with saying I was too overwhelmed and could just sit at the back and read. It worked; mostly because I was overwhelmed by it all and couldn't do much else even if I wanted to, and also because it was either I sat at the back of the classroom and read, or I sat in the SEN department and read. The teachers tended to want me in their classes where they could keep an eye on me.

Nearly tripping down the stairs, as I messed about with my tie, trying to get it to sit right, I walked into the kitchen and got myself some breakfast. Dad was doing toast this morning and I didn't think I could stomach it. I grabbed one of my breakfast bars and sat down next to Tommy, headphones still blaring. He smiled at me, tapping my shoulder a few times. Turning to look at him, I realised he was still waiting for me to take my headphones off. I decided to find a way round it: because if I took the headphones off I thought I might cry and there wasn't any time to do that this morning.

I waved at him. He waved back. He then gave me a thumbs up. I gently returned it and went back to my breakfast bar. I had barely chewed once before I was being tapped on the shoulder again. I turned to look at him sharply, I just wasn't in the right head space for this. It was only when I saw him flinch and blink rapidly, that I broke down into tears. 

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