One Direction Sad Preferences

I Didn't Understand But I Do Now

Do not read if you get very sad easily, or have had any traumatic events in your life that have to do with suicide. If you ever want to talk, I’m all ears.

(Liam’s Pov)

  I’d never imagine it ending like this. Things going so far to the point she’d take her own life. “What ifs” run through my head. What if I had been home more often. What if she told me how upset she was, how much she hated herself. Enough to take her own life. Enough for her to leave the world. The world with everything she loved, the world with everyone cared for her. Sometimes, when you hate yourself so much. It’s like you have goggles on, that block your view of everyone that loves, and truly cares about you. Goggles that pick out the bad, the rude comments, the past friends, the memories you’d like to forget but you can’t.

  You can be so blind to something right infront of you, I love (Y/N) so much. I was oblivious to the scars on her wrists, or the pain in her eyes. Some might say it was a selfish move on her part, but I was the selfish one. I was so wrapped up in myself to see that the girl I loved was so broken that it could only take a true man to fix her. I was so selfish, I wanted her for myself. When in reality, she needed someone better, someone that was there for her, someone who payed more attention. That’s where me and (Y/N) are opposites. I tend to see the good, I look for the good, and when I see the bad, I try to convince myself it isn’t there. I try to tell myself that I’m thinking of the worst. Well guess what. Sometimes things are really that bad. 

  You can never unsee things. Walking in to see the love of your life dead. Dead. It’s not like the movies. She’s gone. She isn’t coming back. There isn’t a second chance. I really screwed up this time, I let someone I loved so much slip right through my finger tips.

  It’s such a sad thing when someone would wrather die then be who they are. She had so much going on, things I didn’t know about until she was gone. She was broken to the point where I couldn’t fix her. I couldn’t understand what it was like to be so hurt, but guess what. Now I do. My mistakes took her life. Now I’m taking mine. It’s the only way out of this much pain, the only way I can free all the guilt, the only way I can see her. How many more people have I screwed up? How many people have been breaking right in front of my eyes, that I haven’t seen because I’m a “good guy” we obviously have different definitions of good, because I’m selfish, unthoughtful, blind, and now we can add to the list sad. So sad to the point that I hate myself. I hate myself so much that I probably can’t come back from here. 

  I didn’t understand how she felt then, but now I do.

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OKAY That was made by @niallhoeran on instagrammmmm

BYE BABES