Secret Confessions (Book 1)

Alastor

~ WARNING: This chapter has angst, gore, and blood. ~

I know it's short but Angel's chapter next will be longer. I promise!

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A vase smashes against the wall and I grip the edge of the kitchen table, using brutal strength to toss it across the kitchen with a scream of rage.

Stupid!

Why did I tell him that? None of what I said was true. Only spoken in anger. Spat with venom to see him hurt the way his words hurt me.

"Shut da fuck up!"

Hoarse from screaming and smashing things for hours, fresh tears stream down my face.

"I am so sick of crying!" I yell, taking the still hot frying pan I was using to cook dinner earlier, and throwing it hard against the wall.

"Ya no longer get ta call me that."

Smash!

"Ya lost that right!"

Smash!

"ANTHONY!!!!" I bawl, dropping to my knees, sobs wracking my body.

I messed up. Again. When I saw the child in my room, I saw nothing but red. Seeing the little one chew on my mothers grimore is what tipped me over the edge of no return. Causing my rage to become an inferno of blistering hatred.

Hatred I took out on Angel.

The child didn't deserve my anger. Guilt churns my stomach at the horrid memory of hissing at the poor dear.

What have I become?

Sure, I'm a cannibalistic Overlord that craves to surpass the others until I'm on top, but...

At what cost?

Losing Anthony?

I can't lose him again. I just can't. If given another chance, I could learn to be happy with what I have. Stay in my current Overlord status, feast on unsuspecting demons, and be with my Angel.

Wiping away tears and feeling numb, I pick myself up off the floor and walk out of the house, front door slamming behind me as my shadows follow.

Eyes on the ground, it takes every ounce of willpower to keep the smile on my face. For her. For Mother.

I'm so sorry Mother. I'm trying to keep my promise to always smile, but I messed up badly. I wish you were here. I need your advice.

I don't know how long I've been walking, but when I finally glance up at the neon lights that suddenly envelope me in a bright blue glow, I'm looking at Tyron's. A small Jazz club in Wrath.

I walked miles to the Wrath ring and didn't even notice. I continue to feel absolutely nothing. My feet throb and my heart aches.

Hanging my head, I trudge up the walkway and into the dim setting of the club. Every step I take, anger builds until I feel nothing but white hot rage.

I lost Angel. I lost a piece of me. I went throughout my entire afterlife clueless until five years ago, then I didn't even bother to search for my one true love.

Because I acted like a true ruthless tyrant with no emotions, Anthony walked away. I'm supposed to be feared, revered, and hated by some.

But Angel has made me feel loved. Wanted. Cherished.

Without intending to, I find myself on the stage, spotlight hot on my shoulders.

"Buddy, get off the stage. You're ruining our set!" A sharp voice demands.

Head turning at a 180 degree angle, I glare at the rude fellow holding a saxaphone. With a snap of my fingers, tentacles appear out of the shadows and wrap him and two others that are on the stage.

Another snap and their heads go flying into the audience. The calm atmosphere shatters and screaming can be heard as everyone begins to herd towards the exit.

"Block the exit." I order my entities, summoning dark voodoo to allow them temporary flesh and bone bodies. "Leave no survivors."

They rush off to do my bidding and the crowd is halted forcefully, claws and teeth ripping into flesh, black blood spurting every which way.

Screams turn into gurgles, and I silently revel in the carnage I wreak.

An idea forms and I summon my staff from thin air, clicking the button on the side that allows me go live.

"Hello Sinners. It's your host, the Radio Demon, coming at you live from Tyron's. A quaint little club with a delightful scent of fear. Make yourself comfortable. Surprised? I've been known to tickle the ivory from time to time." A laughing soundtrack plays as I stroll casually across the corpses littering the stage, spotlight encasing me in a vengeful glow. "Ah, there's a few good things entertaining than a good song, don't you agree? I'm rather fond of this one. It's a little after my time, but it's such a... thoughtful melody. A-hem."

🎼 We'll meet again,
Don't know where,
don't know when,
But I know we'll meet again,
Some sunny day 🎼

Scared whimpers echo in the silence and I snap my fingers, silencing the annoyance as I continue singing.

🎼 Keep smiling through,
Just you always do,
Until the blue skies drive the
dark clouds far away,
And I will just say hello,
To the folks that you know,
They'll be happy to know,
That as I saw you go,
You were singing this song 🎼

The deeper I dive into the song, the more I envision white hair and pink glowing eyes. His eyes. My Anthony. I drove him away just like everyone else that gets too close to me. Why must I be cursed so?

Tears spring unbidden to my eyes and as the soft melody leaves my lips, I watch my shadows slaughter every single demon in the club, no entertainment to be had.

What once brought me comfort and excitement, is just an empty reminder of what I've lost. Of who I lost.

🎼 We'll meet again,
Don't know where,
don't know when
But I know we'll meet again,
Some sunny day... 🎼

Song trailing off, I abruptly cut the live feed and curl my arms around myself, finally allowing a sob to escape.

I'm truly alone.