Yours Forever

Chapter 12

Date: 13-08-1991

It's been a year since you left. I was in a state of depression. I've become quieter and colder. Disconnect from reality. I tried to find you, but it was as if you had vanished from the face of the earth.

It felt as if you were haunting me. I'd see someone with the same hairstyle or physique as you and my stupid heart would jolt in my chest thinking it was you, and as soon as that person turned in my direction, my heart sunk. Whenever I caught a whiff of your perfume, my body relaxed involuntarily, but my heart speed up to in my chest.

Some days, I thought I could hear your sweet voice brushing against my ears. Some days I feel like I'm going insane. I couldn't get you out of my mind. I tried sleeping you away, but it only made things worse. You're always in my dreams, whether it was normal, sexual, or nightmares. The nightmares are the worst, and they always end with me losing you.

So, I tried drinking you away. That didn't help either. I would occasionally hallucinate about you.

So, I decide to get lost in my work. That worked. It reduces the number of times you appear in my mind, and with that, I buried myself in work. I work all hours of the day and night.

I decided to work from home for the day. I was not in the mood to see anyone, especially today. After five hours of slaving over my laptop, I decided to take a break. I stood and made my way over to my liquor cabinet in my office. I pour a glass before having a seat, then taking a sip before leaning back in my chair.

Today marked the day, when I first saw you in that park. It felt like yesterday because I could recall every detail so clearly. I sigh, sinking deeper into depression. I took another sip of my liquor, loving the way it burns my throat.

I let my mind wander. Accepting the torment that awaits. I wonder where you were, if you were happy, and if you even miss me. What made you leave?

I groan, running my fingers through my beard. What I would give to see you again. To hear your contagious laugh and see your beautiful smile. How badly I want to run my eyes all over your body as I smell your soothing perfume. I wish I could hug you, touch you, and kiss your soft, sweet lips.

I wish I could have you back in my sight but that's all I seem to can do, wish.