Yours Forever

Chapter 19

Date:03-Dec-2004

We wanted to have a big family but after a while of trying to get pregnant and failing, we decided to seek medical help, and that's when I discovered you've been experiencing unusual pain during your period but have always ignored it due to its irregularity.

The doctor suggests that we get an exam. We did and was later diagnosed with Endometriosis on January 14, 2004. A type of illness that can prevent pregnancy and is caused by a process known as Retrograde Menstruation. This occurs when blood flows backward into the pelvis rather than out of the vagina, and it was too late to receive treatment because it was growing from when you were younger.

We were both heartbroken. That day, you cried so hard that it broke my heart even more. I felt so helpless. I didn't know how to make you feel better, so I did what I always do; I held you in my arms and whispered comforting words.

Even though you tried to stay strong, I could see sadness in your eyes. We had always hoped to have a large family, so I could tell you were in a lot of pain. But it didn't matter to me. I didn't mind that we couldn't get pregnant. I still adored you. I was extremely grateful for the two beautiful boys you gave me.

I remembered the day you mentioned surrogacy to me, and I quickly declined it. I was uncomfortable with another woman carrying my baby. That was just for you, and only you.

I knew you felt less of a woman and even though I tried to convince you that nothing had changed I could still see the grief that would flow through your eyes, when we would come across a pregnant woman. I could see past the fake smiles and the pain that lingers. So, I decided to bring the idea of adoption and you were over the moon.

This is where both twins entered the picture. Azalia and Alalia. I remember going to the adoption agency on April 3, 2004. We both knew we wanted a baby, so we could go through the process again, because our boys were no longer babies; our first son was now seven, and our second was only three, and even though it pained me that they were growing, we had to accept it.

When we entered the room where the babies were sleeping, we were both drawn to the twins who were laying in the far back. They were both wide awake, and as soon as we came into their sight, they both smiled and giggled at us, instantly winning our hearts. Strangely enough, from the outside looking in, they could have been mistaken for our biological daughters, given their resemblance to me. They were identical twins, with bright black eyes, curly black hair, and a similar complexion to mine. Only after staring at them for a while do, you notice the difference, indicating that they weren't biologically ours.

We wanted to sign those papers right away, but we knew we couldn't. We had to go through the procedure of adopting.

We were finally able to bring them home on December 3rd, 2004, after seven months of waiting. The boys were overjoyed to learn that they would have not one, but two younger sisters.

They were born on the 14th of January 2004. So, whenever that date came up, instead of remembering the tragedy, we replaced it with joy, knowing that both of these beautiful girls were born on this date.

We were told that their mother died during childbirth and that their father was unknown. It was a bittersweet experience. After conducting some background checks on their mother, we discovered that she used to be a lovely woman with a clean record but no family. We both promised each other that we would tell the girls about their biological mother, and we also found where she was buried and prepare a better burial so that the girls could visit her if they needed to.