My Future Husband

Chapter 83

“I’m so sorry, Shorty.” I don’t know why I’m crying, it’s so stupid, I feel like I haven’t stopped for days.

“It’s okay, it doesn't matter.”

“Yes, it does.” I’m so glad he’s the kind of person that knows how much this means to me.

I tried to breastfeed Teal for the first time this morning since the explosion, but nothing happened. Three weeks without nourishing a baby and my body has slowed down my supply to virtually nothing. I know it’s not important to everyone, babies are perfectly healthy being fed from bottles, but it was more than that to me.

It sounds ridiculous, but I always had this idea in my head that our last feed would be one I’d get to remember. I’d look down at his little face, smile at his milk-drunk eyes for the last time, and know that I kept him alive when I was once the girl that couldn’t even do that for myself.

I didn’t get to have that, and it hurts.

“Are you sure you’re up to this? You know he won’t mind if you want to give it another few day-”

“Try to take me back to that room and I’ll have your balls put on a chain around my neck! It’s bad enough I’m letting you push me in this thing.” I’m actually feeling better than I thought I would, but Kage is taking this Florence Nightingale thing way too seriously. The wheelchair was his idea. “The doc said I’m fine! I want to see him.”

“Okay then, but buckle in... Princess Peach.” Oh fuck no!

“Kage! Don’t you dare!” Yesterday I woke up, looked out my hospital room window, to see him and Milo wheelchair racing Cara and Chase up and down the fucking hallway!

Apparently it was a game of real life Mario Kart. I'm not sure which of them is supposed to be the fucking children.

“You know, I think this coma has made you grumpy.” He leans down so his lips stroke my ear. “Or just full of tension that can't be released by any doctor...”

This is not the time for your sex appeal!

I look up at him, his ocean-blue eyes brighter than they've been for days. He’s doing his usual thing of being the blaring sunlight no matter the darkness, but I can still see underneath how hard this has all been on him. He hasn’t left the hospital, he spends every night he's not in bed with me in the chair next to it. I’ve told him to go home but he won’t, I’m not even sure he ever truly goes to sleep.

Last night I passed out with Teal still in my arms. Josh came in to take him home, but Kage wouldn’t let him. He knew I needed him, I need them both.

“What you thinking there, Shorty? How dirty on a scale of one to ‘I’m going to lay you on that nurses station and make you scream where the whole ward can watch’ are we talking?” I try to come up with a witty come back, with something that will make him smirk, but I just can’t. Instead doing the thing I want most; reaching up and pulling his lips down to mine.

I knew he loved me, he knew I loved him too, but what happened has changed things. Now everything is so much more intense. Before this we didn’t want to live without each other, but now we know we can’t. His hands are constantly on my body, his eyes never leave me, I don’t think he ever wants me to be released so he can just keep us in this bubble of safety forever.

His soft lips take mine with dominance, not a sweet and gentle kiss, but one that has every nurse at the station quivering.

“What was that for?” He rests his head against mine.

“I love you.” I just love you. I don’t have a better reason than that. I don’t know what day of forever it is now, but I never want them to stop.