Unconditional Feelings (Heesun)

25

✿This chapter is solely based on Riki's POV✿

Riki was devastated. His heart shattered into broken pieces as he ran far away, tracing hollowed steps—each and every step felt painful. Tears spilled from his eyes, and his knees felt weak from running, but he didn't stop.

Today was the day. He was going to tell the older about his hidden feelings, the feelings he had trapped inside his heart since the day he met him. His heart was beating rapidly and his body was dripping in a cold sweat.

He halted, proceeding to catch his unstable breathing. He clenched his heart and heaved heavy sighs. He didn't know where to go—what to do after he walked in on the two. It was unexpected for him, he had never noticed the 'romantic' tension between the two.

________

"Jay hyung, uh, I need to do something. You can go ahead without me." Riki patted the older's back and paced away without waiting for his response. Jay glanced back in confusion and shrugged. "You're not gonna go after him?" Jake asked, peering back at Riki's silhouette shrinking. "Nah, I think he needs to do something important." Jay glanced at Jake then looked back in the front while trudging.

Riki ran as fast as he could near Sunoo's direction, hoping to find the younger older still walking with Heeseung. But to his surprise, he witnessed something he shouldn't have seen.

He heard the commotion near the alley by a shop, and carried his feet toward the loud grunting and yelling—and saw Sunoo—pull Heeseung into a kiss. His heartbeat increased, and he froze, not knowing what to do. He just stood there and watched them kiss.

He saw how Sunoo held Heeseung's waist and leaned closer—he saw how Heeseung deepened the kiss—he saw how he kissed him back. He stood there watching each and every single thing, not knowing what to feel.

________

Riki pounded on the door, waiting for any kind of response, but for a good few seconds, nobody answered. The wind was blowing and Riki tightly held onto Sunghoon's warm jacket to find comfort from the soft warmth. After a while, he was about to turn away and drag his feet home, but just then, the faint creak of the door stopped him from doing so.

"Riki? What are you doing here?"

Riki turned on his heels and felt teary upon the sight of the older leaning on the door frame, plastered with a hint of perplexion and concern. "It's like 9 right now—weren't you gonna go home with Sunoo?" Sunghoon asked, crossing his arms above his chest.

Riki stared at him in silence, not knowing what to say. Sunghoon knew something was wrong, so he invited him inside.

"My dad's not home today, just go in my room." Riki followed the older into his grand bedroom decorated with skating posters. "Make yourself at home...." Sunghoon walked around his room, tidying the floor which was scattered with clothes.

"What happened? You seem... disheveled...?" Sunghoon asked while picking a white and black checkered shirt off the carpet.

"I...don't know what I saw—I think I walked on them at the wrong time..." Riki stared at the ground, anxiously tapping his foot. "I—I–I'm so confused..."

"You walked on them? What do you mean by them?" He walked over to Riki and plopped himself beside the younger. "Are you talking about Sunoo—did you ask him?!"

"No...I wanted to—I had the chance to, but I couldn't. I was there at the wrong time, and I shouldn't have seen that." Riki muttered, not glancing up. "Hyung....I saw them—kissing. They were literally making out..." He hesitantly averted his gaze toward the older, not wanting to break away. Sunghoon's eyes widened and he was left stunned to speak. "Sunoo...kissed someone?" Riki slowly nodded. "Who?"

Riki sighed and spoke up, "Heeseung hyung..."

Sunghoon's mouth was left wide open upon the sentence. His breath hitched and noticed how the younger's face softened. He was gonna cry again.

"Hey, hey...don't cry..." Sunghoon pulled Riki into his warm embrace and felt his shirt soaking with hot tears. "Did they see you?" He mumbled while patting his back. "N-no..." Riki's voice was muffled under his hold.

Sunghoon sat there, soothingly patting his back, letting him cry on his shoulder. "I–I didn't know what to do—where to go, so my feet led me here. I'm sorry for bothering you..." Riki muttered after pulling away. "I wasn't in my right state of mind..."

"Nah, it's fine...you needed someone right now. I've seen how much you cared about Sunoo since the beginning, so it must've hurt a lot."

"W-what do I do now?"

"I think you should watch and really see what happens..." Sunghoon moved back, leaning his back on the headboard of the bed. "I mean...what if they were dating in secret?"

Riki thought about the chances and possibilities of the two dating, and it sort of made sense. They were tense with each other in front of the group and in public, but in secret, they could be meeting one another and—doing whatever they do, just like Jay and Jungwon.

"I guess I was too busy focusing on myself and my feelings, that I didn't even notice the unfamiliar tension between the two." Riki met eyes with Sunghoon, who was slightly smiling at the younger. 'W–what? Why are you smiling like that?" Riki wanted to slap himself for stammering in front of him.

"What? You're so different when you're sad. It's like—you're not even the same Riki I know—more like your introverted, shy boy, Ni-ki." Sunghoon chuckled.

Riki blushed when he heard the name. The nickname felt different when Sunghoon mentioned it.

Ni-ki was Riki's nickname; it was a short form for 'Nishimura Riki'. When Riki was new to the school, everyone knew him as Ni-ki, the introverted, shy—cold guy who was rich and famous, but there was more to that. Riki was a shy, 'mean' dude until you got to know him. He would be the loudest, most annoying boy you'll probably meet. But, he was also the sweetest, most caring person. He would give up anything for the person he loves and admires. Everyone in the friend group knew that—yes—even Heeseung.

These past few weeks, nobody in the friend group really called him Ni-ki anymore because he felt more comfortable with his actual name—but the name was mentioned a few times and it didn't really make a difference for the younger. But when Sunghoon mentioned it that way, he felt something rumbling inside his stomach. His heart paced, even though it was already thundering—but Sunghoon's smile was so contagious, that Riki couldn't take his eyes off of it.

Sunghoon stopped smiling and saw how Riki's eyes gradually traveled to his lips. 'Is he looking at my lips...?' He felt a blush creeping on his cheeks, and wanted to lean closer and plant a small peck on the younger's cheeks, but stopped.

"R-Riki..."

Riki's gaze shifted from his lips to his eyes, and he saw Sunghoon's state; he was blushing.