Our Fate [OUR SERIES #2]

CHAPTER 16

'Why am I becoming impatient when it comes to you?'

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I turned a blind eye for a few weeks because I thought that I was putting a lot of meaning towards her actions. I was never dumb to see how her ways of treating me changed. For the record, I've learned a lot of things during my senior years until flirting became a piece of cake for me.

I had a hint in my mind that Thana really likes me and I chose to not pay attention to it. The moment she asked me what I thought about her, I knew it. But I decided to just let it go. Not until this day, under the golden majestic sun, she finally confessed. 

"Why do you like me?" I asked softly. I looked in the depth of her eyes to feel her emotions. 

She shook her head as if she, too, was disappointed in herself. "I don't know." She shifted her gaze to the big boats in front of us. "I've never liked a woman before. And I didn't have plans until I just felt it, that I like you." 

Hindi na bago sa pandinig ko ang mga naririnig mula sa kanya. Sa ilang taon simula noong tumuntong ako sa kolehiyo ay hindi ko na mabilang kung ilang beses kong naririnig ang salitang 'gusto kita' sa bibig ng maraming taong nakasalamuha ko na. At katulad ng mga  nagdaan, iisa lang din ang naging tugon ko sa kanila. 

"You know I'm not ready." I've lost a lot of people because of this words. Ngayon, hindi na ako magugulat kung pati si Thana ay lalayo ang loob. Inaasahan ko na rin ito simula noong napansin ko ang pagbabago sa kilos niya. 

"I'll wait." Ibinalik nito ang tingin sa 'kin. "Hihintayin kita." 

"Your feelings for me, I'm telling you, it will pass. Kahit maghintay ka pa ng ilang taon ikaw mismo, alam mong hindi ko masusuklian ang nararamdaman mo." 

"Huwag mo naman akong pangunahan, Dhayne." 

"You know I can't guard my feelings, Thana. I can't control it. I can't even move on from Kris until now. Paano kita magugustuhan? Kung hindi ko kayang umusad sa nakaraan ko kahit anong pilit ko sa sarili ko, paano ko maibibigay ang atensyon ko sa 'yo." I remained calm as I explained to her. 

Thana ran her fingers through her hair after licking her lower lip. "Just let me like you. May pag asa man yan o wala. Liking a person doesn't always mean they have to reciprocate your feelings." 

"I'll hurt you, Thana. I swear I will hurt you." 

"Everyone needs to go through pain in order to succeed, Dhayne. And sometimes we need it for us to go forward too. I just want you to be aware of my feelings. With chances or not, I'll just take it." 

Mula sa pagkakaupo ay tumayo siya upang lumapit sa harap ko. She held both my hands and looked at me with sincerity. "Just let me like you and I'll do the rest. No pressure added, Dhayne. Think of me as your friend or whatever it is that will make you comfortable. Hm?" Her left hand reached out my right cheek and she slowly caressed it. 

“Will you let me like you, Dhayne?” I was taken aback when her soft lips touched my left cheek. “Please let me. Say yes. I need your permission, Dhayne.” I bit my lower lip as I witnessed the softest of her. I've never thought that Thana would let me see this side of her. 

Ilang saglit akong natigilan. Hindi alam kung ano ang isasagot sa kanya. Kanina lang ay sigurado akong ito na ang huli naming pag-uusap ngunit ngayon ay gusto kong umoo sa kung ano man ang gusto niya. Dahil ayokong dumating sa puntong hindi na naman kami mag uusap. 

Naghihintay siya sa sagot ko at ako itong natatakot para sa kanya. Pareho kaming tahimik: siya'y naghihintay sa tugon ko at ako naman ay nag iisip sa kung ano man ang isasagot.