Waves - Book #2 [completed]

46 ~ Quatervois Part TWO

I'm a rockstar.

Usually, I can sleep anywhere. I slept in tour busses, in countless hotels – good and bad ones, rental apartments and bunk beds more times than I can remember sleeping in my own bed. I slept on sofas and futons and dirty mattresses belonging to shady people living in dodgy parts of town. One time, I think I straight out slept on the floor with my leather jacket as a blanket.

When you're drunk, tired or stoned enough you just don't care anymore. And when two or more things come together, you even sleep backstage while the opening act at your own band's live show is giving it's best with the bass on full blast.

But I don't sleep a wink on this flight.

My mind is going at lightspeed, whirling with questions and what-if scenarios.

Will dad be alright?

Will the surgery go well?

What will I walk into when I set foot in the hospital?

Will he be awake?

Is he in pain?

How's mom doing?

Is she over-worried or calm?

Dad's the calm one who usually keeps her grounded. So what happens when things go left?

I can't think about that right now.

I shift in my too small middle seat in third class – the only free spot left on this sixteen-hours red-eye to New York.

My leg jiggles, surely disturbing the person in front of me since my knee constantly bounces against their backrest, while my mind returns to Sydney and what I've left behind there. Or rather who.

I lean forward, dropping my forehead against said backrest and bury the rest of my face in my palms, groaning and ignoring the concerned stares from my seat neighbors I feel on my back.

We had an incredible night together that proved yet again that Riley's my person. We just match. She's confident and incredibly talented, humble and strong. She's content and smart and thoughtful. We grew together. We learned to trust each other and let our respective guards down. We're better together.

But where she's calm and collected, I shut down. After not speaking to her for the whole ride to the airport and running off like a maniac to catch the longest fucking flight of my life, Riley's scratchy voice broke me out of my daze. She looked so desperate and confused and worried. My emotions were, and still are, raw and out there for everyone to see. I felt like I was being cracked open. I didn't know what to do, and my brain jumped onto the honesty wagon. So I told Riley I love her.

I told her.

The words, my feelings, my promise.

It's all out there.