Waves - Book #2 [completed]

9 ~ Epiphany

Epiphany
noun
A moment of sudden revelation.

I did google her.

And I fucked up. Big time.

I mean, I already knew that I fucked up yesterday, because I've seen her surf. Even though the waves were small, I saw what she was capable of on her board. So I was wrong for even questioning her ability to surf and teach in the first place. And now it turns out Riley's even more than qualified because up until about three years ago, Riley ranked in the top five of the World Surf League women's championship tour. She won the Bali and South Africa competitions two years in a row, earning her a pretty hefty cash prize.

I have no idea how difficult it is to be ranked so high up and shit, but there are videos of Riley taking some serious waves with ease and grace. Some of those monsters look downright life threatening and I see where her safety-concern might root from.

But then, on the high of her career, Riley just vanished from the league and only reappeared as instructor about a year later, using her earlier career to build her brand successfully.

I also find Emma in the top list of the Women's Junior Tour Athletes and almost facepalm when I find a post from six months ago on her Instagram profile that's dedicated to Riley, thanking her for tutoring and helping her to rise to her full potential. The picture of the two girls shows them hugging each other and smiling at the camera in front of a banner with the World Surf League logo.

How often have I met Riley now? Four times? And each time I've managed to make a fool out of myself by either gawking at her or belittling her.

I rake a hand through my hair as it dawns on me that I might have to bite the bullet and apologize for real this time. And see, that's something I don't like doing. I know I am a lot, people don't miss a chance to tell me. I'm cocky, entitled and an arrogant ass. And acknowledging that isn't the problem. The problem is doing something about it – like apologizing when I'm wrong. I suck at that. I suck at most things people consider the right thing to do.

I'm not man enough to accept and own my own insecurities and mistakes which are the reasons I fucked this up. I don't remember why I said what I said. It just happened. Adrenaline makes me say and do stupid things, like the one time when I smashed my guitar on stage. The crowd loved it, the insurance company not so much and I had to listen to my manager rant about how this is unacceptable for an hour.

Hearing Riley say that I don't take things seriously was like hearing my dad and lawyer say it. Riley points out my mistakes, she's done it from the moment we met, and it just makes me drive my own ass deeper and deeper into quicksand I can't pull myself out of.

The front door slams shut and the sound makes me jump from the sofa where I've been lounging for a couple hours. Setting my laptop down and standing up, I groan as my abs and ass ache from just the little time I spent squatting on the surfboard yesterday. On top of that, my shoulders look like I'm a human-lobster hybrid. Yeah, turns out I should've used sunscreen. Now, I've got to deal with the aftermath because I was to proud to use an SPF.