Waves - Book #2 [completed]

39 ~ Mamihlapinatapei

Mamihlapinatapei
(Yaghan)
noun
A non-verbal exchange between two people who both desire to initiate something but are hesitant to act on it.

"I would've never recognized Curtis without all that hair," I murmur to myself, following Rathi to the kitchen.

"Were did you see him before?" she asks.

I shrug. "Only on the record covers."

"So you checked him out." She shoves a bundle of cilantro at my chest, slamming shut the fridge she just pulled it out of.

I shrug, catching the greens shortly from falling to the kitchen floor.

"We haven't talked in a while. Catch me up." She levels me with a glare. "And do not bullshit me. You're a bad liar."

I hold that little bundle as if it might overflow in my arms. It doesn't and I busy myself by plucking a mushy looking stem out of the bunch. "Went to Minjerribah for the junior qualifier. Emma did well. She-"

"I know that."

"Right," I drawl, setting the cilantro down on a cutting board.

"Did he go with you?"

"Who?"

"Santa," my friend huffs with exasperation. "Mason of course."

I focus hard on my cutting task. "Mmh-hmm."

"What happened between you two?"

Well, where do I start? Oh yeah, after three – almost four – years of not wanting to date and feeling nothing for guys, I met this cocky, sexy guitarist at the airport. In the matter of only a couple months, he blazed an irreversible path into my life and we kissed when I was drunk one night, kickstarting everything. He offered me a frenemies-with-benefits situation I agreed to before he went down on me only a day later and shattered my world. Then, about a week or so ago, we had amazing sex followed by a mental freak-out by yours truly which we talked about, agreeing on not being able to keep things casual between us. So, we went on one date, during which I felt all the right things – all the butterflies and tingles and shivers. And now we're dating for real and I strongly believe that I'm falling in love with him. Oh, and he dry-humped me into another orgasmic dimension just this morning. So, to cut it short – I'm lost.

I stare at the green stems and leaves in front of me like they're able to provide me with the proper words to explain all this to her. "Uh, we- we are-" I begin, stutter-stumbling over my thoughts.

"Could you fetch two limes for me?" Rathi interrupts, already stirring various ingredients in sizzling coconut oil.

Sighing, I turn to grab the fruits from the bowl. It's indescribable what happened between Mason and me. It's all going so fast, but I'm not scared anymore. He tolerates and accepts, even welcomes, my flaws as well as my inhibitions. He knows that I can't and won't forget Samir. He's always going to be a part of me and my life and thoughts because he is my past, and Mason even wants me to remember him. What level of trust and understanding does one need to have to blanket this...? I don't even know a word to describe that emotion.