Amile The Queen

Chapter Ninety-Four

***Nambitha Makhathini***

“Where to from here?” he asks placing my suitcase on the table.
He’s watching me pick up the rest of my things. I don’t know why I didn’t pack yesterday, I’ve known the whole week that I would be leaving today.
“I don’t know.” I say giving him my other bag.
It has all my dirty clothes that I didn’t get to wash during the course of this week. I don’t understand why I’m leaving here with more clothes than I had when I first came in.
“Did you think about what I asked you.” yeah, no.
“Muzi…”
“Nambitha I really need your help on this. In fact, we need each other.” I don’t need him.
“Muzi my life is already fucked up as it is. I can’t be committing myself to life time commitment like marriage. That is a distaster waiting to happen. In fact, I just got out of a psychiatric hospital.”
“It’s a wellness centre, you know the difference Nambitha.” I rolled my eyes.
“Come on, please. You know we don’t have to date. We will just go to court, sign those papers and I will give that to my father so he can get off my case.” he’s too old to be pressurized into getting married.
“What, so I can be a trophy wife? And what if I meet someone that I actually want to date, that I love.” in an alternate universe I mean.
I’m never going to date ever again.
“You can date whoever you want, I don’t care what you do. Look at things like this; we are friends that live together, and the court recognizes us as husband and wife, that’s all.” I shook my head.
“Look Muzi, I appreciate you and all the things that you’ve done for me the past few months, but I don’t think now is the right time to be having this conversation.” his face fell.
“You still have to bury you brother, you aren’t thinking straight.” he looks pained.
He came here hysterical the other day. I have never seen him like that in my life before. His brother, or nephew, or whatever he is to him, my boss, was allegedly kidnapped along with his pregnant wife, and he was not found. It’s been three days now since that night, they’ve lost hope.
It’s surprising how close we’ve grown in these two months that I’ve been here. It started with him coming here more regularly than he was doing, and then it escalated to him bringing me gifts, and the conversations got deeper.
Like he mentioned, we aren’t in any form of relationship. The same way I deem myself in capable of loving, is the same way he claims to be. We are just really good friends, and we understand each other. I want it to stay that way.
That is why I’m finding it hard to just accept this marriage proposal. It’s not really a romantic proposal, it’s a ‘you scratch my back, I scratch yours’ type of agreement.
His father made it clear to him that he is sick and tired of bailing him out of stupid situations, and he is tired of having to clear his name every time he does something stupid. He thinks getting married will have him settle down, that and he said that he won’t get a cent from him if he doesn’t change his ways.
Muzi is almost 28 years old, but he’s still living like a teenager. Even Mvelwenhle settled down before him.
Now the urgency in him wanting to marry someone stems from that. He wants to leave Mthiyane Construction, and take over his father’s businesses as the heir, but his father said he won’t do that unless he changes his ways, and the only way that will happen is if he gets married.
That’s why he needs to produce that marriage certificate, and get what he wants. Problem is, Muzi and settling down are two things that don’t mix. I’m sure the word Marriage has never been part of his vocabulary.
But how is it a win win situation. How do I  benefit from this?
I’m homeless. I have no fucking where to go! Going back to my parents house is not an option, not when I will be reminded every single day of my life that I didn’t listen to them, and then had a failed marriage. I know them, I don’t want to subject myself to that.
I can’t keep pestering Amile, she has a life of her own, and her own problems. I can’t be her burden all the time. This is the time for me to make my own decisions, and become independent.
I don’t know if I still have my job at Mthiyane Construction, it’s been two months since I arrived at the ‘Wellness Centre’ as Muzi says, I missed out on so much work. And the CEO is dead. It’s a lot.
So I will benefit from this by getting a place to stay, and financial aid until I’m fit enough to be by myself. But marriage is a lifetime binding to someone else. I know things like divorce exist, but it’s not the easy way.
I don’t want to be dependant on a man once again. I saw how badly that turned out. What will I be when he starts thinking that he owns me only because of the things he does for me. I’ll have no leg to stand on. The last thing I need is to get into another abusive relationship, romantic or not.
“Let’s go, I’m done.” I say and lead the way for him.
All my discharge forms were signed yesterday. In other words, I couldn’t wait to get out of this place. It’s been long overdue. He placed all my bags in the boot before he came to settle in the front and started the car.
“Can I just go drop you off at my place because I need to rush to Mvelo’s house.”
“Yeah sure.”
It sucks that I have to be alone on Christmas Eve, especially because I just came out of a hospital, but I won’t be selfish, he’s grieving. Even him being here is a stretch, he’s already doing so much for me.
“That will give you time to think about my request.” I sigh.
“Muzi…” he cuts me off.
“This will benefit the both of us, please just consider it.” he pleaded.
I’m not going to fight him about it. Maybe I’ll try and think about it.
^
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I asked him to show me around the house before he left so I could be able to familiarize myself with the surroundings. He has a whole big ass mansion, and he lives alone.
This is good for a man who has a big family, maybe three children, a dog and a nanny. There are three bedrooms, and two downstairs. There are servants quarters outside too. I fail to comprehend. I’m guessing he has too much money, he doesn’t know what to do with it.
The kitchen is large, I love it! When he took me around, it was the first thing that mesmerized me, and I wanted to start cooking in it right away. I haven’t cooked in so long, and it’s Christmas Eve, why not.
Right after he left, I put on some good Jazz and prepared my kitchen. That’s what the doctor recommended, that I listen to jazz music when I’m occupied with something so I don’t drown in my thoughts, because that’s what I did. I get lost in my thoughts too easily, and end up wallowing in them, and that results in a panic attack or an anxiety attack.
I think I’m much better than I was when I was first admitted. Now I can actually sleep through the night without getting nightmares. To think I didn’t even want to go there in the first place. I hate to admit that I actually got the help I needed.
I’m cooking curry. Durban curry, the hot stuff with the leaves and all those other things. I need this, I’ve been having boiled food in that place for too long.
Things are coming together in my pot, and I can’t help but miss home when the scent fills the whole kitchen. Today the house is probably filled with kids already. My sisters probably dumped my cousins there and they disappeared. They will only come back in January when the money is finished. Mom would have had us washing windows, scrubbing floors, and changing bedding for the guests that would be coming tomorrow for Christmas lunch.
She always hosts my fathers side of the family for Christmas. I always told her that they were taking advantage of her kindness because she would always slave off for them only for them to criticize and leave right after. She always said she did it from the goodness of her heart, and because she loves the holiday so much. I can see it already.
I wonder how they are doing. I miss them.
By 7, I was done with cooking and I had eaten. I entertained myself with the TV and stayed up waiting for Muzi to come back. I didn’t want to sleep without him here, I don’t even know how to lock up, or set alarms, so better safe than sorry.
He arrived late, and I understood completely. I had fallen asleep on the couch, and he picked me up, and placed me in my allocated room. He then tucked me in and pulled a chair to sit in front of me.
“How is the family?” I’m still very sleepy, but he looks like he wants to talk.
“Not doing well. My brother in law has this notion that he’s still alive. they think he’s losing his mind.” he looks exhausted to say the least.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. Did you think about that thing?” persistent, he’s not even giving me room to think about it properly.
“What am I going to gain out of this, I know I’ll be going back to work soon, that’s if I still have my job. If I do, I won’t benefit at all.”
“I’ll split everything with you, 70/30. We can live in the same house, and all my assets will be joined with yours. It’s union of convenience, not love. We are friends right?”
“These things always backfire Muzi, it never ends well.”
“There is no pretending involved. My dad doesn’t even need to see that we love each other. All he wants is that marriage certificate, that’s all. Please. I’m giving you thirty percent of everything I own on a silver platter. What else should I do for you to trust that this will not backfire?”
He’s right. He is giving up a lot.
“Can I sleep on it? I’ll have an answer for you by the end of tomorrow.” I reassure.
“Fine by me.” he dragged his chair and stood up.
“Sleep. I might not be here in the morning when you wake up.” I nodded.
“There’s food in the microwave for you.” old habits die hard I guess.
“Thank you wifey.”
“You are pushing it.” I reprimanded.
“Too soon?” he chuckled.
“Too soon. Get out of my room.” he switched off the lights and walked out the room.