Amile The Queen

Chapter Sixty-Eight

***Nambitha Makhathini***

I just arrived from the palace. My feet are killing me, I need to rest. This has been the longest week of my life. I should be celebrating the end of this year that I’ve been looking forward to my whole life, now all of these things are happening. I can’t be happy when my best friend is suffering, I’m suffering with her. I can’t imagine what she must be going through, or what she is feeling.
She’s been acting strong this whole time, she didn’t cry nor did she look like she was in pain. She held it in. I felt the pain though when she delivered that eulogy. The way she poured her heart out made me so emotional.
This environment is not healthy for me anymore. I need to go back home. It feels like I’ve been leaving but staying at home for about one or two days. I’ve been hiding behind Amile the whole time, even when I just wanted to see Nkululeko, because he insists that going back to Durban is not part of his plan.
I have my feet up on the coffee table in the lounge. He finally got couches, they are not in the best condition. I’m guessing maybe they are second hand just for now while he saves a bit more money, and then when he can afford to, he’ll get a better lounge set, but this will do for now. At least we are able to sit.
He sits on the edge of the table and lifts my legs to his lap and starts massaging them.
“You’ve been working hard. You are a good friend.” I closed my eyes and breathed out.
“Yeah right, it’s been a long week.”
“Indeed it has.”
Besides the news of our king dying so abruptly, and my best friend losing her husband, I almost got into another bitch fight with Nontando. It’s no where near healthy, I know, but she pisses me off so much. She just insists on getting on my last nerve.
“It’s been a long year.” he said leaning in.
“I don’t know about you, but this year has been good to me.” I said opening my eyes to meet his face.
His eyes were slowly turning red. He’s just as tired as I am.
“Really, what was so good about it?” he’s asking me as if he’s a statue.
I gave him that look and he laughed, tilting his head back before he looked at me with a smile on his face.
“So it’s me?” he asked and traced his hand on my leg.
“It’s you baba.” he gave me a wide smile, with teeth and all.
I leaned in to meet his face halfway and kissed his lips. i thought it would be a quick kiss, but he made sure to suck on my bottom lip as much as he could.
“I want to make you pregnant.” he said as he pulled me closer to his body.
I don’t think that registered quick enough in my brain. At first, I thought he was joking, but he gripped onto my bum and placed me on his lap in one swift move. He has to be kidding. I laughed it off and pushed him off me gently.
“I hope for the sake of your life you are joking.”
“Nana…”
“You are joking right Nkululeko?” I chuckled, hoping he would join me.
But he pulled a serious face and looked me.
“I want to put a baby in your stomach.” he rubbed my stomach.
I’m sure he doesn’t understand the seriousness of his request.
“First of all, you haven’t even gotten your real job, you are still waiting to graduate. Secondly, you already have two offspring from two different mothers and you aren’t even married. You haven’t even spoken to me about marriage and you are already skipping the step to children. You can’t even afford proper sofas, how are you going to afford a third child.” I pushed myself off him.
He frowned. I wasn’t trying to be mean, but he’s being totally unrealistic.
“So what, you want me to marry you?” I put my hands on my waist as stared at him in disbelief.
“It’s not about marriage Nkululeko. My parents would never allow that. I’m young, I’m not about to tie myself to somebody for the rest of my life.”
“Oh so what you are telling me that this relationship is a joke to you?” I pointed my finger at him.
“Do not put words in my mouth, you know I didn’t say that. You know exactly what I mean.” he’s being unreasonable.
“My life is just beginning, I just got out of high school a few weeks ago, I still have a lot ahead of me. I can’t be popping babies for a man who has no history of wanting to be a better man after having a child with a woman.”
“Okay, so what do I have to do for you to give me a child. Must I send a delegation?” Nkululeko has officially lost his marbles.
“Listen baba, I’m too tired to be having this conversation with you. It’s been a long day, I just want to rest.” I removed my legs from his lap and got up.
“Nana.” he called out as I walked down the passage.
“You’ll find me in bed!” I heard his heaving a sigh.
I closed the door behind me and leaned against it, releasing a sigh of my own. Everything is just moving too fast for me. I feel like I’m standing on the outside looking into my own life. I hate feeling like this; this is the time when I should be in control. My whole life has been dictated to me by my parents, I’ve been living to please them. Now Nkululeko is here, and he’s demanding things from me; things I can’t give to him.
A baby!? A whole human being? He can’t be serious. First of all, I don’t like children, I never have, and he made it worse when he introduced to his the way he did. Not only did I have to compete for his heart with people I can’t compare to, but I also had to fight women because of him. All the things I didn’t sign up for when I gave my heart to him.
I don’t even want to think about what he did to me. Thinking about it makes me want to snap his neck in to two, so I refrain from thinking about it. We are better off pretending it never happened.
“Nana open for me.” he knocked softly.
I turned and opened the door for him to enter. He walked in barefoot and shirtless. Looks like he’s just taken a shower, his hair is wet and his eyes are now proper red.
He doesn’t look keen to talk about what he said. He walks past me, takes of his pants and climbs on the bed butt naked. That’s how he sleeps, it makes me uncomfortable sometimes, but I’m slowly getting used to it. Sharing a bed with him has become the norm, so much so that when I have to sleep alone, I barely get a wink.
I get out of my dress and leave it on the chair. I don’t have the energy to go take a shower, so this man will have to be strong. In just my underwear, I climb onto my side and with my back against him, I pull the covers up to my shoulder and sleep. I leave all the lights on. At first, there is a cold space between us, but soon enough, he had closed it and had his arms wrapped around my body. His skin on mine. His breath was hitting my skin, making me warm up.
His hand travelled to my cookie jar and he rubbed me over the material. I turned around and faced him. His lips were parted and his breathing pattern started changing.
“I love you Nambitha, what should I do to prove it to you?” I removed his hand from my palace.
“Don’t rush me into things I’m not ready to do.”
He nodded before he captured my lips with his. I found myself panting, drawing closer to his body. His hands swiftly removed my underwear and he lifted me up onto his body.
I placed my hands, palms facing down on his chest and positioned myself on his thing. This man is forever horny, while I on the other hand, hate sex with my whole heart. At this point I only do it for his enjoyment, other than that, it is not a preference.
He grabbed my hand and helped stroke him as he closed his eyes and moaned, biting his lower lip. He was enjoying this so much, I felt why not push my boundaries for the first time.
I moved back and lowered my head, pushing my hair out of my face and popped him into my mouth. It felt like the sides of my mouth would tear as he stretched my lips further and further. I only went half way in and started gagging.
“Oh nana.” that seemed to turn him on further.
He grabbed my neck very roughly and made me go back in, pushing himself to the back of my throat. I felt like everything I had eaten would come back up, so I slapped his hand and he let go of my neck. I don’t think I’m doing it right, I had tears coming out of my eyes and I was struggling for breath.
He sat up and looked at me when I started coughing. The idiot just laughed at me.
“What were you trying to do?” he rubbed my back.
“I’m trying to be a bad girl.”
“Ungayenzi into ongayazi.” he said with so much cockiness, and an underlying tone of mocking.
“Yeah right.” he chuckled and grabbed my arm, and turned me around.
“Let me hit it from the back.” one thing about Nkululeko Dlamini, he lacks romance. He has none whatsoever.
“Why, so you can put a stranger in my stomach.” I’m speaking but he has his tip rubbing against my entrance.
I bite my lip.
“If you know what’s good for you, you will shut that little mouth of yours.” I have unleashed the animal.
You could hear the in the distance, people doing the countdown to midnight.
6...5...4…3…
“I swear Nkululeko if you make me pregnant…”
He stuck his finger inside my mouth and he slammed into me, forcing my chest to hit the bed. I screamed as I felt my walls stretching to accommodate him.
“One!” I moaned.
“Happy New Year baby.” he continued ramming into me…
It will only be by God’s grace that I wake up with my legs working tomorrow!

***Amile Gumede***

It’s a new day, a new year. Not necessarily a new me, we agreed on the fact that I wasn’t going to rush anything. Not my body, not my heart. We are taking things one step at a time, a day at a time. Things certainly feel different.
I woke up early today so I could take a nice bubble bath and get ready for the day. When I was done, I made my way to the dining room. The smell of freshly baked bread and eggs dancing in a pan welcomed me in the passage and my heart smiled. I haven’t eaten a proper meal in days, I suddenly feel a gaping hole in my stomach.
When I walked into the dining room, Bhut’ Langalethu was sitting alone having breakfast. I really wasn’t expecting to see him, and I really wanted to turn around and go back to my room, but he had already seen me, and I was too hungry, I wasn’t going to do that to my stomach. I went to grab a seat across him and greeted in a low voice. I haven’t seen him since we came back from the cemetery. I wonder why he is sitting alone.
“Good morning to you too MaGumede.” he picked up his fork and resumed eating.
Sis’ Melo walked in carrying a tray and gave me the food. My mouth started salivating.
“Thank you.” I won’t lie, I missed this.
I’ve realized that staying here has made me a lazy spoilt brat. I can’t do anything on my own anymore, even basic chores that used to be an everyday thing, like cooking and doing the dishes. Now taking a plate to the kitchen has become an extreme sport.
“Did you have a good night?” he asks looking at me in the eyes.
I’ve said this before, this man has an intimidating look. He sounds as friendly as could ever be, but his face, it says something completely different.
“I did, thank you. You?”
“I can’t complain.” oh how I wish we could eat in silence from here onwards.
If I’m really honest, there is no need for me to be conversing with him. We exceeded out talking bundles yesterday with that not so awkward, awkward conversation we had parked in that cemetery. I had hoped that I wouldn’t act weird around him after that, but I’m doing it now.
“Did your mother leave yesterday?” I feel like he is forcing it as well, it’s not working out.
“Yes, she went to her mother’s house.”
“Mmmh.” that’s all he said before he concentrated on his plate.
After a long shot of silence and tension thick enough to be cut with a knife, he looked up at me again and said:
“You and Mandlenkosi are close?” it didn’t sound like a question, it was more of a statement, and I don’t know what he’s insinuating by saying it. For my sanity, I will pretend as if he was asking me.
“Yes, we are.” That’s all I can afford him. Further explanation will lead to my detriment.
“Thank you for that…He’s always been a special child and he suffered greatly when he lost his mother. I was there when it happened, it wasn’t something nice to watch. He has been looking for that love in everyone, even his father. I saw that MaMzobe tired, but it was never the same.” he just took this to a whole other level.
He just confirmed what I have been longing to hear. I longed to hear Nkosi admitting to me that our relationship wasn’t based off of love, but that I posed as a mother figure to him. I reminded him of his mother, both him and Banzi.
“MaNdlela played a big role in all our lives, losing her wasn’t easy. That is why I will do this ceremony, for her, and our sanity.”
“How come she was the first wife but wasn’t married?”
“Her family disowned her when she fell pregnant so they didn’t want to continue with the wedding. They only accepted lobola and damages. I on the other hand was introduced to the ancestors first, and although my mother didn’t marry into the family, things were done right by me, that is why I’m on the throne. Banzi wasn’t paid lobola for.”
That makes no sense at all.
“So technically, he should be a Ndlela, not a Zulu?”
“By right, yes, but I think he did sort that out. Now we have to marry MaNdlela to Mhlaba so we don’t suffer.” he always mentions suffering when he talks about this.
It truly is beyond me. It makes a little more sense now, but I still don’t understand the significance of it. She’s dead, who is going to accept her wedding on behalf of her family?
“Thulisile will explain it better. I’m as clueless as you are.” I chuckled and looked down.
I wonder where she is vele, uShlobo.
“I need a favour from you, if you don’t mind.” I looked up and nodded.
“Can you organize a press conference for me. I want to address the public, and let them in about everything that is going on.” I exhaled.
I don’t know why I feel so heavy, but this has to happen either way.
“You don’t have to, I understand…”
“No, it’s not that. I just can’t grasp everything quick enough. Time is moving quickly and I feel like I’m being left behind. I just wish everything would slow down.” ever since he came back, everything has been happen so haphazardly.
“I know it’s overwhelming, but I’ve got you.” he reached over and held my hand that was on the table.
It didn’t even last for a moment.  Mandlenkosi walked into the room and looked between us. By then, Bhuti had his hand tucked away under the table.
“Mandla.” Bhut’ Langalethu called out to him.
He shook his head and turned and walked out. I’m guessing he’s having a hard time processing everything going on. How is he going to take hearing about our marriage? I feel terrible for him.