Happiness - MileApo ✔️

32. Protect The Baby

Mile was in the shower. Apo laid on his back on their bed, gazing up at the ceiling. The Alpha had put Nolan to bed almost two hours ago. Apo was going over the therapy session they had today. He caressed his swollen stomach as he remembered. 

 ****Mile had been taken to another room. That left Apo with Anna while Nolan sat against him on the big sofa, fussing with his Iron Man shirt. 

 "How are you feeling today?," The black haired Omega asked. 

 "Huge." He huffed a laugh caressing his stomach. 

 Anna smiled at him but waited. He knew she wanted more from him, but he didn't think he could talk about it. Nor did he really want to; however, he told himself he would try. 

 "I'm upset with myself." He mumbled. 

 "Why is that?," Anna asked, a frown on her brow. 

 "I feel like I'm always teetering on edge. That I am either going to fall over the edge and drown in all the emotions or I am going to just shut down because I cannot handle all of this." Apo didn't know how to feel. 

He was so scared that Mile would hurt him again; he didn't want to give him the chance for that to happen. Nevertheless, he didn't want to completely shut down again. The Omega did not want to forget his pups. Trying to deal with all of his emotions and pregnancy hormones, left the Omega not knowing how to feel or which way was up.

 "Talk to me Apo." Anna urged gently. 

 "Papa." Nolan tried to get to his feet and managed—at an odd angle—to touch his Papa's big stomach. 

Apo caressed his pup's head, brushing Nolan's light brown hair from his forehead. 

 "I don't know what is happening to me. All I want to do is lay in bed and not move. I don't want to keep having to get up and do the things that need to be done, but I can't do that. I fight with myself all the time and it's exhausting. I don't know if I can keep this up." Apo quietly sobbed. 

 He didn't know what was happening to him. He didn't know why he felt this way. Apo just wanted it all to stop. 

 "Apo," Anna began. "Have you ever heard of depression?," The Omega shook his head. 

 "Depression is a mood disorder that causes persistent feelings of sadness and loss of interest. It affects how you feel, think, and behave. It can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems. You may have problems doing normal day–to –day activities, and sometimes you may feel as life is not worth living. Does that sound like what you are going through?," Anna explained. 

 "Yeah, it does." Apo mumbled. It explained so much. 

 "I feel all of that; but not the suicidal one." He was not suicidal. 

"Feeling as life isn't worth living isn't only describing suicidal idealisation or attempts. It just means you do not have the energy to participate in life nor do you want to. Does that describe what you might be dealing with?," Anna prodded. 

 "Yes." Apo confessed. He did not want to die. 

 "How do I snap out of this?," 

 "Depression is more than just having the blues and it isn't something that someone can 'snap out of'. It requires long term treatment." Anna continues. 

 "But don't get discouraged; most people feel better with a mixture medication and psychological counseling. I have a program that would be helpful if you would like to hear about it."