Heal Me

Chapter Twenty: Manik

"Kiss me"

My eyes went down to her lips immediately as she said that but I didn't know if it was the right time—I wanted to probably more than she wanted to. Last night when I was going to kiss her the only thing that stopped me is I didn't want to trigger any past trauma for her, I want her to be free from all that and it takes time.

I looked back in her eyes "we don't have to—"

"Manik, I want you to be my first kiss" she cuts me off, the confidence in hers right now made me want to kiss her so badly.

Whatever happened with her, None of that is called her first time. What she had doesn't count which is why she said first kiss. She was still tangled in those bitter memories from her childhood and I never wanted to trigger that.

"Give me your hand" I say putting my hand out, I know she was confused by that but she gave her hand in mine.

I wrapped my finger around her wrist catching her pulse rate, I had a habit of doing that with her and that would tell me how she was feeling. Her picked up pulse rate would always tell me that she was nervous, and she was right now.

She looked down at our hands and then looked back up me "I'm nervous but not because I don't want to do this but because Im just a little overwhelmed that's all"

I think I've done the pulse thing way too much that she knows by now.

I released her wrist and put my hand on her lower back as I striked closer to her and she didn't flinch instead she let me, I guess that was a sign that she was ready. She doesn't know how much I craved for that kiss after last night, but with her I always want to be careful.

Before leaning in to kiss her I ask once again "are you sure—"

But before I could finish I felt her soft lips on mine, her eyes closing immediately as her hand goes to my chest. I wish she kept them open so I had a chance to read them but I just had to trust that she would pull back if something unsettled her. Her lips were very soft and the pressure was very little but I wanted her to in control resisting the urge to show her what how good kissing could feel. I moved my lips slightly but I didn't want her to feel like I'm being rough.

She moves away with a frown "this feels odd, you aren't moving with me. Don't you want to kiss me?" She asks and she sounded upset. Oh god.

"No baby, of course I want to" I move closer to her cupping her cheeks "I wanted you to be in control"

"It's okay for you to take the initiative and be in control because you know what to do and I don't, and it's making me nervous." she looked down.

"I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable in any way" I tell her.

"I know, but I want you to kiss me like you normally would" she looks up in my eyes, she had the most beautiful eyes and it spoke so much. I haven't been with many women but Nandini is the only one I can truly understand and read, I don't think she realises that yet.

"I won't be rough with you Nandini. But if you feel like I am or you are uncomfortable you tell me, and I'll adapt my behaviour okay?"

She smiled slightly nodding "can we try again?"

"Of course" I nod to that.

I rubbed my thumb lightly on her cheeks as, my entire hand was the size of her face. My eyes moved to her lips again, as she licked her lips. Deciding if me taking the lead would work or not, I caught her lips with mine but this time applying more pressure than she had done. Her lips tasted so sweet and if I wasn't addicted from the first time she kissed me then now I am. My hand stayed on her cheeks and they felt warm against my hand. I deepened the kiss slightly but making sure I don't make her feel like I was being too rough, she parted her lips for me as I dove in. She submitted to my kiss without hesitation which made me feel that it was going good so far.