Heal Me

Chapter Twenty Six: Manik

"I—uhm wanted to tell you that, I want to give our marriage a chance. I want our marriage to be real, in all aspects"

Her words rang through my ears, and without realising my hands moved away from hers. She looked at our hands parting and then me with a confused look, actually more of a sad look.

"I'm sorry, I didn't—I shouldn't have said that I know you've made it clear on my first day here that you don't want this to be real" she looks down "shit. What was I even thinking? Can we just forget the last two minutes, pretend like I never said that. I don't want to ruin what we already—"

"Stop talking for a minute" I cut her off, she had began to go in a panic mode.

"I really should, and not just now but overall too. Nyra used to tell me how I need to shut up if the conversation is going bad but oh my god as you can see I have a bad habit to keep going because I get nervous—"

"Stop talking Nandini or I'll kiss you" I cut her off again.

She stops and blinks her eyes more than usual.

"Well what if I want you to kiss me? Should I still keep talking then?"

I couldn't help but smile at that "you're still talking so I will kiss you"

I move closer to her placing one of my hand on her cheek and the other one grabbing her wrist like always, her pulse rate always spiked up. I brush my lips against hers, slowly and gently and she had her eyes closed. I pulled her closer to deepen our kiss, her lips always felt so soft against mine and they tasted like sweet honey. When she parted her lips, I dove and the kiss got passionate and rough as she wrapped her arms around my neck and moved it to my hair, tangling her fingers in them and oh god I missed this, the taste of her lips, having her close to me, seeing her everyday. I missed all of it.

I pull away from the kiss slowly, but before I could fully pull away I press another soft peck on her lips because I clearly seem to not get enough of it.

"Our marriage is already real baby" I held her hand still "When I said this marriage was a sham when you first came here, I was being stupid. But you and I both know that it has been real since then"

"Then why did you look surprised?" She asks me

"Because you mentioned that you want it to be real in all aspects, you know what the means right?" I raise my eyebrows.

I just wanted to confirm, although I know she wouldn't say the things she didn't mean. I've seen Nandini deal with her trauma, she has been through a lot in these past few months I've been with her imagine the past years I can't even imagine what it would be like for her. I never wanted to rush her with anything.

"Yes sometimes i wonder what it would be like to be husband and wife—in a physical sense. I know it's not going to be easy with my past and trauma but I want to put it all aside, I want to be with you manik. Truly" she nods "don't you want that?"

"More than you think Nandini" I confess, she has no idea how much I want her. From day 1 and I know I've said that I didn't want it to be real, but the truth was that I was attracted to her from the day I saw her. Of course a part of me had always stopped myself first because I didn't want her to have that kind of control over me, then when I found out about her past that had stopped me because I never wanted her to feel unsafe in any way.