Serendipitous

49.

The sand glides through my palm and fingers gently hitting the ground causing the bits to disappear in their realm of the rest of the sand. My eyes close while my neck tilts upward at the warm sensation of the sun stroking my face, I stand still and tall next to one of the sand dunes.

"You know that boy they shot?" Her quiet voice fills my ears from behind my back. I open my eyes and turn around to see Tara standing behind me; her eyes are filled with grief that she is trying everything she can to hide.

"Yes. You mean, Noah?" Hearing myself say his name out loud feels haunting to my soul. It's like speaking of someone from a dream, someone who never actually existed. Maybe he was nice at one point, but I truly believe he broke a long time ago and no thanks to Tara's handy work. I try not to think about the way they disposed of his walker body  however so. I don't want to think about the negative things, and I am not Tara's closure journal.

She forces a smile, her hands grip at each other nervously. "He- Did you know him well?" She manages out.

"We were friends for a time."

"Did he ever mention his parents?" I frown and fully turn to face her.

"He told me about his dad, and he mentioned his mom. Look, I don't know why you're coming to me about this... I can't help." What's done is done, and as far as I know Tara never tried to talk to Noah while he was still with us.

"I know he hated me for what I did. Maybe he was right to hate me, but I needed out of that relationship. I needed to be free." She pauses. "Maybe that makes me selfish, but it's what I wanted."

"Why are you telling me all of this?" Part of me almost feels annoyed at Tara for telling me all of her life story.
Yes, Noah tried to really hurt me but at one point I did consider him a friend of mine and that is the part of me that is angry at Tara for him.

"I don't know. I don't. But can you just tell me one thing?" She pleas, I frown.
"Okay. What?"

"Was he happy? Did he smile before I came?" Her light brows raise in hope, a hope that makes me wonder.
"For a time. He was happy to an extent." My head turns back around away from her view, I wish she would go now and leave me to bask in the sun.
The footsteps can be heard behind me and I know she is getting further and further away from me back to the cave. I'm left with my thoughts and the sun on my skin; the quietness that surrounds me calms my nerves and the restless thoughts that have been racing around my mind since all of what happened with Noah has taken place.

     I head back into the cave where the cool air hits my skin instantly giving me goosebumps. If we hadn't of found this place, if the military hadn't of found us there is no telling where we would actually be right now. I am not sure if I would of ever found Shane again, but when that thought flickers through my mind I choose to ignore it. I know that fate would have put us in the same path again just as it did now; as cheesy as that sounds. Shane and I were supposed to be together, I don't believe we ever just so happened to end up together as the world came to its civilized stop. Something had been happening between us slowly like a growing flower before the world decided to stop in it's normalcy.    When I make my way to the main area I spot Rene further in the hallway. Her hair is in a bouncy ponytail and she's smiling gleefully; she never knew Noah or knew that her brother was in the same cave as her. In Rene's mind, Noah never existed, but maybe one day she will end up finding out about him when she's older. Through some sort of slip up through Tara perhaps, and when she does if she were to ask me about if I knew him I will be sure to only tell her the good things. She's so little and so full of happiness even through all of this, I want her to only be happy here.