Serendipitous

34.

"Are you going to try to catch one by yourself?" Noah asks while we walk toward the exit of the cave.

Catching a lizard on my own sounds a like a
challenge but it could be worth a try, this is are lives now— Here in this cave. Life is now all about enjoying the little things and I am trying to learn to that. I want to enjoy the little things even if it's something as small as attempting to catch a lizard.

"Sure, why not" I respond with a cheerful grin.

Three attempts in after searching for a lizard and I manage to catch a small green one, my eyes observe the details of its scales while it sits calmly in my palm. Noah walks over beside me with his hand fanned out with a small tan lizard resting on the center of his hand. His eyes flicker down to mine while they seem to beam.

"The green ones are my favorite" He speaks calmly.

"I like them, too" I remark, "They're so carefree and I'll bet they don't have to even think about walkers. Their world hasn't changed a bit"

Noah nods listening to my words for a second.

"They still live peacefully while surviving as they always have" He adds pleasantly with a smirk.

"Do you believe in reincarnation?" Noah's casual question causes my eyes to wander out to the never ending sand ahead of us.

"No, do you?"

"I don't know actually. I like to imagine that when we die we don't just fade into nothing, I want to stay optimistic about it" He explains, "I'd want to watch over the people I cared about always"

My head lowers to the ground for a moment while the brief image of what I'd imagined my baby to be like flashes through my mind. Would my baby be watching over Shane and I? Thinking about this only causes an ache in my throat, Noah frowns in confusion.

"Hey— I'm sorry— I didn't mean to make you upset if I have" He apologizes, after setting the lizard down from his hand it scurries away through the sand.

"No, you didn't" I force a chuckle out, "I'm always deep in thought" I lie smoothly, before letting the lizard in my hand free, too. Noah turns to face me while I look up at him meeting his face, his expression remaining concerned without any traces of humor.

"You don't have to keep it all inside all the time, Molly. Bottling up the pain won't make it any better...you know?" His voice is tranquil but I feel anything of the sort, I don't like crying in front of other people though Noah has seen me have a breakdown before.

"I know" My voice responds barely above a whisper, it sounds as if I'm about to cry.

"I don't know your whole story or even your whole story with Shane. I know you won't have anything to do with your mom and I'm not trying to pry into your life— But all I'm trying to say is life is short, people die unexpectedly and even more so now. Holding a grudge with the way the world is now— it— it'll only hurt you" He explains gently, I frown while looking away from him. I wish he weren't making so much sense right now, I wish what he were saying were wrong.

"You don't know what happened" I respond in a hushed tone. "You have no idea what she did"

"No, I don't. You're right. I'm just saying, life's short, forgive. Not for her sake but for your own sake."

"Can we please just drop it?" My voice pleas with a hint of annoyance, I get that he is just trying to help but I don't want anyone's help.

"Okay" He responds with a heavy sigh.

The atmosphere shifts into feeling tense while we both awkwardly stand in front of one another. Noah runs a hand though his chestnut hair before he inhale deeply. "I guess we'd better head back"