Only for you darling

16.

16. Panic attack

Freya

Tuomas: I think we should talk.
I sighed as I was getting ready while I read that message. I would see Eevi only in fifteen minutes in a cafe that's close. I came from work like ten minutes ago, but I haven't been on studio. Yesterday was monday and I also had photoshoots then, like today as well. And I think when I'm not in the studio, Tuomas misses me immediately. I've always felt like that, it's uncomfortable. But his message was making me nervous. I just started texting back fast, I have no time for this shit.
Me: What's the matter? I'm busy now.
It didn't took long for him to answer.
Tuomas: The last conversation we had.. or the argument. Can I come over later tonight? Or whatever you like..
I started frowning hard as I saw that one. I just let it be until I was completely ready to leave.

While I was walking towards the cafe, I took my phone from my bag and looked at the message again.
I sighed and rubbed my forehead.
Me: We can talk tomorrow at the studio.
I was almost putting that phone away, but just in time it buzzed and Tuomas has answered.
I didn't open the conversation, only read the short message from the lockscreen.
Tuomas: It's disturbing me. Can't even sleep.
I groaned.

I arrived at the cafe, I didn't bother to answer now. As I said to him, I'm busy now. And hanging out with Eevi is much more important than texting to that bastard.
I walked in, and I looked a bit around. I saw Eevi sitting on a corner as she was smiling at me, waving her hand to me as a sign to come.
I walked there, and she stood up. For my suprise we hugged, it didn't bother me at all.
"Hi. I already took some ice tea and croissant." She pointed at her food and sat back down.
"Looks good. I will take something too." I said and put my bag on the chair.

I sat down with my black coffee and a piece of cake. Eevi was drinking her tea while watching my doings.
"Okay, so, I think we should get to known each other better." She smiled while placing her hands under her chin as a support. I let out a small chuckle, trying to think about what should I tell about myself. My phone buzzed again in my bag, I quickly looked at it but moved my eyes back to Eevi. She glanced at my bag too. Then she lifted her other eyebrow up.
"If it's important you can look at it." She smiled while lifting that tea mug to her lips. I shook my head.
"It's probably my boss." I sighed. She frowned and looked at me amused.
"Shouldn't you look at it then?"
I scratched my neck and took that small fork so I could have the first bite of that good looking cake.
It's cheesecake. My favorite.
"If I'm honest.. he's a fucking asshole who wants to control me." I smiled sarcastically to her before swallowing that first bit. Her face dropped, but then she let out a short chuckle.
"Wow.. okay. I see." She smirked amused.

"He's.. adoring me. It's been like that for six months. And a few days ago we had an argument. I shouted at him that why he's even working there, at the photography studio. His brother told me that he's suprised how Tuomas is working at there, because the whole industry isn't interesting him. And now he's desperate because he wants to talk about it." I explained. I was unsure, does this thing even matter to Eevi? Why she would be interested about my problems with my stupid boss? If she cares, she's an angel. We don't really know each other and it would be so nice to have a friend like her.
She's funny and very friendly, and she asked me to be her support-woman-person during her pregnancy.
"That's suspicious. Tuomas seems to be an ass." She leaned her back against the comfy chair. She looked around pissed while playing with her tongue.
"He is." I nodded slowly while I was staring at my hot coffee, I wrapped my hands around the mug.

I was about to open my mouth and tell her how he's acting towards me. Like.. he's flirty and gets a little too close to me. But.. I felt so nervous and insecure about myself. But when I lifted my eyes to look at Eevi, I could feel how warm and kind she is as a person. I feel like she doesn't judge anyone. Only judges men like Tuomas, and they deserve it.
"I can talk to you about everything.. right?" I started talking with quieter tone. She turned her head to look at me, and immediately she leaned back against the table and nodded. She looked worried.
Very worried.
I felt my hands shaking, my other leg was shaking.
My voice was weaker.
"Tuomas is.. he.. likes me and.. sometimes gets a little too close." I swallowed right after that sentence. Eevi frowned as she studied my face, but I couldn't look at her. I stared at my coffee.
"He talks about things that makes me anxious. He knows that I'm not interested in him, I've told him that. But seems like he likes this whole situation even more. He has told me how I only should just walk to his office and..." I felt how my eyes started to get wet. I tried to hold my tears back so much.