Chapter 1

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Niall's P.O.V-

I hate being fat.

And it isn't because it means your unhealthy or getting diabetes.

It's because of how people treat you because you're fat, for an example

If you see a fat person walking up the stairs and is out of breath, the first thing you would think is "go exercise you fat ass". But if you see a thin person walking up the stairs and is out of breath you'd think I can't blame her/ him these stairs are tiring.

Or a skinny person can say, I love food, and you'd think, wow that person seems chill, but if a fat person says it somebody would most likely say, yeah we can tell.

Or the worst part is if you have a skinny friend and they randomly look at themselves and say "im so fat" and here you are looking like a fucking potato, like what can you say? You can either give her/ him a boost of self-confidence and tell her she / he are skinny and how fat you look next to her/ him while she/him looks amazing or you can just stay quiet and pretend like you don't want to suck in your belly and disappear and your self-confidence begins to die, well, if you had any to begin with.

And don't get me started on shopping, And believe me I love to shop, I go to the store with an image in my head on what I want to buy so my outfits can be on point, then you find it and then you have to find an extra large size (if they have any) then when you finally do find it and your happy with your purchase you go home and try it on just to be so disappointed because it wasn't how you imagines it, why? Because the way you imagined it was in a skinnier version of you.

These are just a quarter of my problems.

Am I a hypocrite?

Yes, most likely I am.

If I see a fat person in McDonalds I would roll my eyes and think, no wonder you're that big, or if I see a girl in shorts I eternally cringe and think, are you stupid? What are you wearing, your fat is jiggling all over the place and im getting second hand embarrassment, but you can't blame me it's a natural reaction, Everybody in the world judges, maybe not out loud but defiantly in their head. It's what makes us human!

Most people's theory's is to lose the fat and to lose the fat you need to exercise.

3 out of 10 fat people do exercise, like me for an example, I do intense cardio and it helped me lose 15 pounds, but my eating habits made me gain as well.

I can't help it! When you see a delicious donut, why ignore it when you can devour it?

So how can you eat healthy when all you have at home is desserts and just a little bit of Veggies that don't look the least appetizing next to that donut?

But back to the main topic, being fat and being in high school or any school for that matter is the worst, I remember there was a time where you didn't care if someone was fat all you cared for was to play and have as much fun as possible and despise nap time, but now I can't walk down the halls without feeling insecure of my stomach and how my outfits makes me look so much fatter, when you walk to the front of the class room you feel like everybody's eyes are on you and you think you hear whispering and your automatically think they're  talking about you.

Now aside from being fat, im Bisexual and you would think that gets me bullied more? Right? Well no. Most students from my school are coming out and people are fine with it, see my problem is I'm fat AND bisexual, and the joke that pops in everybody's head is who would want to date a fat person?                              Nobody.

Now there are those "I don't care if your fat, im such a nice person im going to be your friend and empathize with you"

Well guess what, never trust those bitches! You'd think, yes finally I have a friend, but sooner or later there going to slip and make a fat remark, and your pride will slowly disappear leaving behind an aching feeling right in the middle of your chest.

Im not saying all fat people are like this, there's some who have a million suns of confidence and enjoy being "Curvy" or "Thick" and are happy. But im not talking about them, they can go fuck themselves. Why? Because everybody wants to be skinny or at least average, and those people who "accepted who they are" just gave up and thought "hey if I can't be skinny at least let me tell people im happy with the weight I am" because its total bullshit, they most likely try to do it so they can feel better for themselves but it never lasts for long, because maybe in a few years they fall into depression.

People I do have respect for are those people who love themselves WHILE they lose the fat, because they know having the weight just brings people down and to fail. Sadly I was not one of those people.

Now that I have explained why being fat sucks let me continue to tell you about my story.

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