Chaos and torment.
The two things Delle endured the most in her life. As she tried to get out of the mess, she got entangled with different kinds of people. Delle came to love being with them, and finally found someone who let her experience peace...
Sometimes I ask myself how times changed, how people changed. When I was very young, I didn't really actually care too much about things. I didn't feel so invalidated that much even if some people make me feel that.
It's just that when you're young, you can feel, but you didn't actually know how to feel it yet because you're too naive to understand about the toxic and painful things in the world.
Being too young back then, I did some foolish things, and realizing it now, I now knew that a lot of people already placed that label on me. Growing up, I ended up putting that label on myself and making it my own.
You know it's hard when it's not just the people who judge you creates the label on you. It's when you start to finally see that label they're all talking about, and you realize to yourself that...
You're everything they said you would be.
"You made a commotion again against our neighbors' son?!"
I looked away and didn't actually care. I was a kid. All I care about that time was getting my territory against my neighbors' children. Though most of the time, I cross the boundaries. Childish, right?
"You and that leader of the other group really are enemies, huh," one of the people in my team commented. "You guys almost hit each other with a thick branch!"
I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "We didn't hit each other with a branch," I corrected. "We just threatened each other."
"You're so brave back there, you know!"
I paused.
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Was I?
Was I really brave or... was it because I was too naive and stupid?
Rethinking it now, it's probably because I was too naive and stupid.
"So, how's your eldest daughter, Maya, Hide?" One of my crazy rich relatives asked.
I glanced at my parents and already expected an answer.
I don't want to hear this conversation anymore.
"Delle is doing great! She's always the top of her class!" My mom replied.
Correction, one of the top in my class. Not the top.
"That's right! She's working hard on her studies!"
That's the only thing they're proud of anyways. That's the only thing they can say about me. Well, what else is there to say about me? Besides having good grades and being commented 'kind and smart' by the teachers which I actually am not...
I'm nothing else but bad and useless.
Once I showed my weakness... everyone threw me out.
