The Owl House: Emperors and Thorns

Something Ventured, Someone Framed

Various human items were incorrectly labelled on a desk. A cheese grater was labelled "nail clippers", a bag of chips closed with a flip phone was labelled "whoopie cushion", an upside down umbrella hat filled with leaves was labelled "food bowl", a Rubik's Cube was labelled "weapon?", and a paper clip was labelled "pay-per-clorp". 

"Behold. The wonders of the human realm." Gus picks up the paper clip, "This little fella's one of their most valued objects. It aids in the compiling of printed wisdom, the scratching of gunk from under your nails, and my favorite...It even mimics the sounds of the human ocean." he the proceeds to twang it, "Aah! The human realm. So beautiful." he walks over to the chalkboard, "It's safe to say that the pay‐per‐clorp is a stunning testament to human ingenuity. Any questions?" he turns around to face the rest of the Human Appreciation Society club. Eileen, Bo, and the unicorn Bard track student are all falling asleep while Mattholomule looks throughout bored and raises his hand, "Ah! Our newest member: Mattholomule."

"A‐Augustus, is this what the president of the Human Appreciation Society thinks passes as "Human Artifacts"?" Mattholomule asks as Gus looks confused, "Because at my old school," he pushes aside Gus' stuff, the president scooping them up, "we had real treasures." Mattholomule empties his bag onto the desk, dumping out a rock painted to look like a cell phone, an egg with a skull painted on it, and a shoe made out of mud, leaves, and twigs. They're labelled "cellular phone", "human skull", and "sports footwear".

The other members of the club gasp and lean closer.

"So real!"

"Wow!"

I‐I wanna touch them!"

"Go ahead. In my club, we didn't have any dumb rules." Mattholomule smirks.

Gus gasps and turns to his list of rules, "Shh. He didn't mean that." he glares at everyone touching Mattholomule's objects and takes them away.

"Hey!"

"What?"

"Well, this isn't your club." Gus crosses his arms, "Thankfully."

"Exactly. Who thinks I should be president?" Mattholomule asks.

"I do!"

"Mattholomule for prez!"

"I'm an undecided voter. I wanna touch all the objects first."

The students talk over each other as Gus picks up the "phone"

"These are fakes!"

One student gasps, "What?"

Mattholomule's eyes go wide as he stammers, "You can't prove that!" he inhales, trying to stay cool, "You're just trying to distract these human appreciators. You're afraid of getting kicked out of office. It's your word versus mine."

Eileen mumbles.

"I don't know what to believe in anymore." Bo says.

"My faith in Gus has been broken."

Gus walks backwards into the chalkboard, looking at a picture of Cerise and Luz, "What if I brought in some experts?"