When our Lives Intertwined

Chapter 23

THIRD PERSON POV..

Dev opened the diary to the very first page

1st January

Hello diary! Happy New year to you! I hope I write many happy memories in you.

Dev smiled reading it. He went through different dates of the diary. He smiled at how there were many complaints regarding one of her senior professors. Some about how she cooks a new dish and so on.

He landed upon the part when their party took place when they won the series in Pune, the way she went back to Pune and many more. For him it felt like he was watching the whole thing from her perspective. He frowned whenever she mentioned that she doesn't want to love him and if she does she would stay away from him.

He went to the last pages of the book in search of the answer as to why she would say that. At the end there was a letter written for him. It read,

Dear Dev,

I know you might be having a lot of questions like why did I leave all of a sudden or what happened or like those. Actually there are things you don't know about me, which I am very scared of sharing with everyone. I know I ran away but I wasn't able to think anything straight. I just thought that staying away from you would be best for that situation so I did that.

I would like to tell you something about my past.

I comee from a disturbed household. My father was not a good person. He was an abuser. He used to beat my mother on every single little thing. There was constant shouting, yelling, breaking of things and everything. I sometimes used to get so scared that I used to go and hide in a small corner of the house. He even used to hit my sister and me sometimes.

It was so suffocating to live in that house. Me and my sister used to tell mom to leave but she insisted on staying with him and waiting for him to change. The fighting, the shouting was unbearable. You don't know how many times I had to go out of the house and smile in front of others even if I was crying from inside.

My sister eventually left for the States for further studies. I too wanted to leave as well because without my sister there I was all alone. But when I said I wanted to leave mom insisted on staying as she didn't want an empty house. House, I can't understand how she could even call that place a house.

It felt suffocating to live there so even if she said I shouldn't, I went to Pune. I know I ran away from my problems like a coward but what else was in my hand. I had to move out to keep me sane.

My Dad passed away within a year I left. I know mom somewhat blames me for his death. Mom even said once that if I would have just stayed with them he would have been alive. But no one saw what I was going through. I felt suffocated there. So much that it was eating me alive.

You remember the guy I told you about once. That friend of mine. He was my bestest friend since school, who friendzoned me. For the first time I trusted someone completely and and I told him about everything because I wanted to get it out of my system. I told him about everything that used to happen in my house. I felt safe crying in front of him but I guess he didn't. After some time I felt him slipping away, losing interest, not picking up calls sometimes saying he was busy, and canceling meeting me many times. I tried to understand everything like of course he can have a life of his own and he would have other stuff to deal with as well. I tried to understand.

But out of nowhere he told me he is leaving for further studies. You know that the last day I was gonna meet him before he left. We all were gonna meet and before I could go to them I heard him saying I was too much to handle. It was a lot of work. I then realised why he started creating distance because he was tired of me, because I had problems and used to tell him about it and cry. Imagine finding a place where you can finally vent your emotions and he says I am too much for him.