Fundamentals of Marriage | Suarez I

Chapter 18

There are times I would wake up in a loud empty room filled with muted screams of my thoughts--thoughts I want to cast out but are impossible. They linger, stay, and live inside me, like I am a habitat and they have no place to go but in my head.

There are days the sun will kiss me a good morning though it didn't give me hope but a burden for another day has come and I have to endure the same pain again.

Today, the sound of his heartbeat was the first song I've heard. It gave me a taste of serenity. I opened my eyes and saw his naked chest. The next thing I saw was his laptop on his lap. He is working on the bed, beside me.

Tahimik na ang paghinga ko hindi katulad kagabi. Hindi lumuluha ang mata ko pero mainit at masakit. My chest isn't violent anymore, it's calm.

I'm hugging him, face resting on his chiseled chest. I bet he didn't turn on the aircon last night because I was shaking. Franco has a skin of a penguin, mabilis siyang mainitan. That explains why he's shirtless, I guess.

Dinama ko ang marahang pagdampi ng kamay niya sa buhok at ang dahan-dahan nitong pagbagsak mula sa ulo pababa sa balikat. He's combing my hair while doing his work. Nakasandal siya sa headboard ng kama, isang kamay lang ang gamit sa tinatrabaho niya.

I don't want him to know I'm awake so I can enjoy the moment.

"I love you." It was a whisper. He kissed the top of my head and continue typing something. I couldn't care about what was on the screen.

I am lured by his touch. It feels like a touch of heaven. I was about to sleep again when his phone rang. Nagmamadaling inabot ni Franco ang phone sa sidetable sa takot na baka magising ako. I closed my eyes when I sensed he will look at me.

"What?" Mahina ang boses niyang sinagot ang tawag. "Tell them I'm busy I can't go home."

I felt the need to smile but I held it back. He always says he's busy when he's with me. Like I am some sort of emergency, a priority.

"What happened again? You are not kids anymore. Why fight about the childish matter?" He sounds like a responsible brother. It must be troublesome to be the eldest among your cousins. "Let them talk... ano ba sila magkarelasyon? Kailangan pa ng suyuan... I can't go... I told you, I'm busy... Era is still sleeping. Kung hindi mo ko marinig, bahala ka." Then, he dropped the call.

Is he that mean to his cousins or he is just worried about me? Well, masungit din naman siya sa akin kung minsan.

I know I have to wake up. Mukhang importante ang ibinalita sa kaniya ng katawagan. Kasabay ng pagbalik niya sa lamesa ng cellphone ay ang pag-hiwalay ng braso ko sa katawan niya.

"Did I wake you up?"

I shook my head. "What time is it?"

"We can send a letter to your school if you are not feeling well. Skip your classes today and take a rest." His hand combed my hair backward, cleaning my bare face.

"I should go. Mom has her spy in school. I can't miss a day. I can be late naman. No classes. It's our second day of defense." Manonood at makikinig lang ako sa mga magpepresent ngayon.

Sinalat niya ang noo at mga pisngi ko. "Are you sure you want to go? Nothing hurts?"

Natawa ako nang umiling ang ulo niya. He will be a good father in the future. He's like talking to a kid, he used a soft voice. I shook my head and copied the movement he made first.

"Okay," aniya. "But you have to eat breakfast first. No, eat, no exit."

I chuckled halfheartedly. "No, eat, no exit?"