Predestined

| Fear |

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Bia

"I miss having adult wisdom around." I muttered to myself as I sat in the large common office. If Dado was still alive, I would have poured my heart out to her. But I couldn't speak to Mama because I didn't want to give her stress and make her worry about me, considering that I was all the way across the world from her. And I didn't want to tell Papa, because he would automatically confront Shehzad, being the overprotective father that he was. 

Despite our difference, I didn't want my parents to get a bad impression of Shehzad. My husband wasn't a bad person, he had just suffered a lot, and sometimes he didn't know how to handle all that pent up rage inside him, left behind from the tragedy of his brother. 

I remember, back in school, we had a class on this in the 'Social Issues' period. A professional counsellor had given us a lecture about emotions, and how to deal with them. We were also taught that sometimes people who didn't know where to direct their emotions, end up taking them out on the wrong people, especially rage. But unfair as it was, we should not instantly react, and 'fight fire with fire', because often this fire turns into an inferno and ends up burning those involved. Of course, it was a different matter if your safety was at risk. This was also basically what Islam taught us: debate things when you're both cool-headed, and not when you're at the peak of your temper. Anger destroyed and caused damaged, and words were like arrows that once shot, could not be taken back.

I had tried with Shehzad. I had tried my best, with honest and to the best of my ability. But I was a human, and his words had really hurt me.

I don't deserve this. I have done nothing to deserve him lashing out at me like that!

"Sobia?" 

I was brought back from my world of thoughts, and could once again hear the clicking away of fingers on various keyboards, and the sounds of a printer running in the background. The smell of coffee floated in from the rest room nearby. I looked up and saw Rabail standing opposite my desk. "Hi, Rabail."

"You okay?" She asked. "I called your name the third time." 

"I was just... focused." I glanced at my laptop screen, and saw that I'd only managed to write today's date in the header. I looked back up at her. "You need anything?" 

"We have a charity function that I've been invited to tonight." She said. "They're looking for donations so that the needier people in society could get access to better health services at a better cost. This charity is looking to open a hospital. Do you want to come?" 

"Me?" 

"Sure." She smiled. "I can bring up to five people, and I am taking some of my staff along."

"Business or leisure?" I asked with a weak smile.

"A bit of both." She said. "I wanted to interview the director of this charity because I wanted to write an article about her. Coincidentally, she's also a woman from London, and she's worked hard- with obvious results- to provide better health care for the neediest people in society, especially for neurological conditions."

"Wow."

"I feel that we need to promote strong women in society." She said. "I've met her before and she's a lovely woman and frankly, I'm already a fan." 

I thought about it. Either go home and face the awkwardness with Shehzad- if he was even home, or to attend this charity event and maybe try to help in any little way that I could. "I would love to come. But if it's a seriously formal function, I'd need a dress."