Predestined

| Facing the Past |

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Shehzad

I sipped coffee, staring blankly at the powered off screen of my laptop. "How's Maaz?" 

Mishal took a deep breath, sipping on her own cup of tea across the desk from me. "He gets restless at nights. If it wasn't for my mother, I have no idea how I would have handled him by myself." 

"My offer is still open, Misha. You can leave him with me for a few days." I said, quietly.

She shook her head. "I need to learn how to manage on my own, Shehzad." She looked at me. "And you need to let go in order to properly start a new life with Sobia." 

I stood up and turned to look out of the window. I watched the traffic pass by on the road in front of the building, and I felt myself frozen in time as the world moved on around me. "How did you even know that I can't move forward?" 

She laughed lightly. "I've known you for a few years now, Shehzad. I have seen the change in you, as have all the others who know you." She glanced down in her lap, before looking back at me. "Shehzad, I'm now going to use my former position in your life to get you to hear me out. I don't blame you. If I did, I wouldn't even look at you again, let alone be here right now talking to you. It wasn't your fault." 

"This case was one of my major victories, Mish." I turned back to look out of the window. "They warned me. They warned me that if I won this case, someone I loved would suffer." 

"Shehzad..." 

"And they kept their promise. I should have stepped back. I should have let someone else deal with the case. I didn't do the right thing!"

"Shehzad, you can't stop doing the right thing out of fear of repercussions from the bad side!" She stood up as well, shaking her head in frustration.

"Why aren't you mad at me?" I snapped at her in disbelief. "You lost your husband, the father of your child!" 

Her eyes filled up. "And you lost your big brother. How can I ever blame you for the loss of his life, knowing how much you loved him and looked up to him?"

****

Sarib Arshad, the firstborn of the family, was a corporate lawyer. You know how firstborns usually are: smart, confident and apples of their parents' eyes, especially their mothers'? Well, that's how Sarib Bhai was.

We were like typical brothers: fighting, annoying the f**k out of each other, but also having each other's backs.

Sarib Bhai had met his future wife, Mishal Hamid in London, while studying, and they had almost instantly fallen in love. After getting married, Mishal had moved to Lahore with him, and they'd both continued practicing law here. Two years after their marriage, they had been blessed with a beautiful baby boy, Maaz. Ma Sha Allah!

Two years ago, when Maaz had just turned three, I had been fighting a major case against a powerful crime lord. His people had been constantly threatening me to drop the case, otherwise some I loved would suffer. I'd spoken to both Sarib Bhai and Mishal Bhabi about it, and they'd both encouraged me to carry on with the case without any fear. 'We shouldn't give up our fight for justice out of fear, Shehzad.' They both had told me.

And so, I had fought the case, and I had won. 

I was just out celebrating with Jeet and my other friends, when Mishal Bhabi had called me, sobbing in distress. Sarib Bhai had been mercilessly beaten up while leaving work, and had been left brain dead.