After Mints // Ashtray Fanfic

Chapter VIII

'so weak when you're around me'

They sat in comfortable silence for a bit before Ash decided to speak up.

'Hey Ray...' he began quietly. Ash was unsure how to approach this topic but he felt that he should try.

Ray moved her head from Ash's shoulder and sat up straight so he could look at him properly.

'Yeah, what's up?' she asked him. Whatever Ash wanted to talk about seemed important. She could tell from his tone.

'You know we just had a heart to heart conversation about what Fez and I do for a living. I was wondering if I could ask you something personal as well?' he asked

'You absolutely don't have to say anything if you aren't comfortable speaking about it' he quickly added not wanting to pressure Ray into saying anything she was not comfortable with sharing yet.

'No, it's ok. I trust you and I'm happy to share. Just ask.' Ray told him.

'Ok come here first' Ash told Ray as he pulled her onto his lap trying to ignore how close they were right now.

Ray nestled into his lap and blushed a little. She was pretty shy but she'd be damned if she turned down his offer to sit on his lap. She noticed how close they were right now and how warm her body felt. The tension between them, apparent and thick.

Ash gently traced her cheek. Ray knew exactly what he was going to ask about.

'How'd you get this bruise ma? And don't even think about saying there's no bruise, I can see it' he said gently yet firmly.

Ray sighed into his chest. 'Ok, it's not too hard to figure it out. You probably put two and two together. My dad hits me' Ray stated plainly.

Ash rubbed circles on her back encouraging her to continue. Ray ignored the tingles and tried to focus on telling him the story.

'It wasn't always like this. We were a normal family. Mom, dad and me. We lived in Colorado before moving here. When I was 8 my mom fell pregnant again. It was nice, we were all super happy. It was meant to be a boy. Dad was over the moon, he always wanted a son and deep down I think he wished I was a boy instead. Anyways, mom had a miscarriage. She fell walking down the stairs. It was traumatic, there was blood everywhere.'

Ray paused. She could feel the tears starting to build. She quickly wiped them away.

'Shh love, it's ok. You can cry' Ash cooed and he stroked her hair. He felt helpless, which was rare. He felt the urge to just remove all her sadness, he never wanted to see her cry.

'After the miscarriage, things took a turn. Mom turned to alcohol to help her ease the pain. She felt like this miscarriage was all her fault and that she couldn't give dad what he wanted, a baby boy. She stopped cooking, cleaning or really caring. Her and dad fought every night, throwing shit at each other. I had to eat bare scraps I could find here and there. They stopped buying groceries and I remember the first time I asked dad about food.

It was a week after the miscarriage and mom was drunk out her mind. There was no more food in the fridge. I went up to him and asked him if we should go grocery shopping and he smacked me so hard. Again and again. It's like he took all his frustration at the world and hit me instead.'

Ray was sobbing now, full on ugly crying. Ash was so fucking mad. He had to clench his fists. Even though his life was fucked up at times, Ash always knew he was loved. Fez did everything for him. Ash had a family. A brother that would kill for him. Ash found his heart breaking listening to how Ray's own family discarded her, treating her like shit.

Ray looked at Ash. She could see he was mad. She could also see how she had cried into his t-shirt. 'Shit, I'm so sorry..' she stated and she began to wipe her eyes and move away from Ash's lap.

'Don't even fucking think about it' Ash told her as he brought her back into his lap. 'Your parents are fucked up' he told her.

He wiped the tears from her eyes. 'No sane individual punishes their 8 year old child for something they had nothing to do with. You did nothing wrong baby. You were just a kid' Ash told her.

'Yeah that's what i've always told myself. Like i know they were grieving but I was a fucking baby too. I didn't deserve that. We had a bakery in Colorado with a few employees. I started working there from a young age so I could afford food and I picked up all my cooking skills from there. But yeah my dad doesn't hit me often, maybe twice a week or ish' Ray said.

Ash looked appalled, the fact that Ray said it so calmly.

'What the fuck Ray. This shit should not be normal. You deserve so much better' Ash told her firmly.

'I know,' she whispered.

'Why haven't you reported them? Or I don't know you could always stay on your own or even with us if you want?' Ash asked her quietly.

'It's stupid but they're my family at the end of the day. I feel this stupid need to look out for them. Who's gonna cook, clean, look after the bakery if I leave?. I hate myself for caring so much when it's clear they don't give two shits' she told Ash.

Ash sighed. He understood why Ray stayed. It was who she was. She was loyal to the bone. She couldn't bring herself to abandon the people that were once her parents. He hated it but he respected it at the same time. It's the same way Fez could do some mad unacceptable shit tomorrow and Ash would still stand by him.

'After I graduate, I can't wait to leave them. My grandparents put some money in a trust for me for when I turn 18. Once I do, imma get the fuck away from my psycho parents' Ray told Ash firmly.

'Good' Ash replied.

Ray could tell he was still mad and his mind occupied. Ash couldn't think about how Ray would go back home tonight and maybe get smacked. How could he send her home knowing what she would face? He thought for a while. Maybe he would pay Ray's dad a nice little visit.

'Shit is it 9 already' Ray asked looking at the clock. 'I gotta go now!!'

'I close in like three hours, love. How are you going to get back?' Ash asked her.

'I'll walk, I always walk' Ray told him

'You want to fucking walk at 9pm? Are you mad ma? Don't be doing stupid shit like that' he scolded her.

Ray blushed, 'It's nothing, don't worry'.

Ash glared at her as he ordered an Uber on his phone. 'Come here', he told her as he hugged her. 'Take care of yourself ok and if you're in any trouble, you just call me, no matter the time.' he told her.

Ray nodded. 'By the way, the Uber is already paid for' Ash told her.

Ray smacked his arm playfully, 'You should've just let me pay' she told him but a part of her appreciated how he willingly took care of her.

Ash sent her off in the Uber but he couldn't shake off what Ray told him tonight. All he knew was he was glad they found each other. 

A/N : A double update?? OKAYYYYY!! Sending all of you love <33333